Vaudevillain

As Easy As... (9)

Dylan had thought long and hard about upgrades for his gear. Most of his repertoire was versatile, dealing with multiple different issues but never truly countering anything specific. It worked for Dr. Zlo, as the villain encountered a mix of heroes and villains on the daily. However, none of Dr. Zlo's inventions had that extra oomph to deal with heavy hitters.

So the villain went back to the drawing board, going over lists of classic villainous weapons. Dylan slogged through list after list, trying to find something for inspiration. Most of the lists described guns and swords, which wasn't what Dr. Zlo was about. Dr. Zlo needed more sophisticated weapons, as his genius wouldn't allow him to make something as mundane as guns.

Finally, Dylan settled on upgrading his dueling gloves.

These piercingly white gloves are an upgrade to Dr. Zlo's already powerful dueling gloves. These new gloves pack a true punch, sending anything they hit flying with special (and explosive) materials! Sure to take down any powerful supers or your money back! (Dr. Zlo is not responsible for any loss of life during the dueling gloves use.)

Dueling Gloves (1)

Dynamite (2 sticks)

Zlonium (10 g)

Sciencium (20 g)

"The gloves are coming off!" Dr. Zlo shouted, tossing his dueling gloves at Psy-Ops.

The two white leather gloves animated midair, flying straight toward's the hero as he ascended back up to Dr. Zlo.

"You did not just say that!" Psy-Ops groaned.

Dr. Zlo grinned from ear to ear, removing his top hat with a bow. He then flicked the cap toward Psy-Ops, activating it with a tap of his tie. The hat drone sprang to life, scissor-like claws erupting from under its brim. Psy-Ops grunted in surprise, pulling out more weapons to deal with the new threats.

With his foe preoccupied, Dr. Zlo turned to The Imp. The NPC hovered over the party guests, his power forcing them to eat the group's addicting cookies. The effects started to show, the guests looking at the other bags of cookies with hungry expressions. A few tried to fight the addiction, but The Imp only needed to force-feed them more treats to change their minds.

"Yes, yes!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "You're too late, heroes! My plan is in action as we speak! Zlo-Mite! Is our new army ready?"

"Should be!" The Imp replied.

The villain flew down toward the huddled group, the masses no longer cowering from The Imp but looking around ravenously for cookies.

"I see you all just love our new candies!" Dr. Zlo laughed. "Well, if you would like more, we'd be happy to offer them!"

The addicted NPC's turned at once toward Dr. Zlo, hungry looks on their faces.

"All I need from you is undying loyalty!" Dr. Zlo cackled. "If you take out the heroes here, I'll be sure to reward you!"

The party guests turned as one towards Fursation and Psy-Ops, the two heroes still battling. With a cry of, "cookies!" the mob surged, running at Fursation with wanton abandon. A few ran on all fours like animals, eliciting a look of confusion from Dr. Zlo.

"Do you think they're supposed to act that rabid?" The villain asked as Sweet Dream walked over.

The woman transformed out of her chocolate form, straightening her attire as she moved to stand near Dr. Zlo. "Couldn't tell ya," she said. "We didn't exactly test this on anyone."

"Hmm, true," Dr. Zlo answered.

The two villains watched in curiosity as their addicted army attacked Fursation and Psy-Ops. Fursation didn't look worse for wear, as the hero still stood in his bear form, and the earthen armor he donned when fighting Sweet Dream repelled the measly attacks from party guests. Psy-Ops, however, struggled. The hero had to contend with not only Dr. Zlo's gadgets but the mob of hangry guests below.

Dr. Zlo's dueling gloves would swing, explosives echoing across the heroes guild with every punch, and Psy-Ops would use his jump boots to move away. The hat drone would try to follow up, swinging with its clawed hands. Psy-Ops blocked the blows with his sword, attempting to strike back as he fell back to the ground. The mob tried to grab him as he fell, forcing Psy-Ops to jump at odd and inopportune times.

"Well, I think we're about to wrap this up," Dr. Zlo said. "Ready for that picnic?"

"Oh boy, am I!" The Imp said.

The NPC floated down to the ground, picking up their toys and calling Greeney over. Dr. Zlo pulled out a blanket and picnic basket from his inventory, laying it on the floor between the gala's various tables.

Sweet Dream rolled her eyes, "A bit much, don't you think?"

Dr. Zlo turned and whispered in her ear, "Look, I'm not about to let the reality warper that delivers the goods get on our bad side. If that means placating them with a simple picnic, I'll placate them with a simple picnic."

"Okay," Sweet Dream said. "Just know I'm going to give you sh*t for this."

"Oh yes, make fun of the villain who has a reality warper that thinks he's their father. A great idea," Dr. Zlo answered sarcastically. "Now, are you going to help out, Auntie Dream?"

"Yeah, Auntie Dream!" The Imp said. "Come play with me and Greeney! I think she likes you!"

Sweet Dream eyed Dr. Zlo, "I will get you back for this."

Riptide chose that moment to surf back inside, Yuppie nowhere to be found.

"Sup, dudes," the villain said. "We about to have the picnic? I guess that means the cookies worked?"

"Like a dream," Dr. Zlo said. "Zlo-Mite here was a chip off the old block."

"Aw shucks," The Imp said. "I'm just glad you played with me. I had no one to play with me before."

Another message appeared in front of Dr. Zlo.

Judging by the extra-dimensional being's words, it has been alone for some time. Perhaps that's why it chooses to stick by people? Some more quality time together might get The Imp to open up, unlocking their memories!

Dylan rolled his eyes at the message. This was turning out to be one annoying quest, filled with all sorts of things he disliked. First off was the annoying Imp. As far as he could see, Dylan couldn't get rid of the NPC unless he finished this quest, which was not something he wanted to do as Dr. Zlo. Plus, there was all the incomplete information. Sure, there was something to be said about letting the player explore and find things, but this was not the way to go about it. Dylan didn't want to spend his time upping The Imp's friendship levels, or whatever. Not if he didn't have a choice.

Well, Dylan wasn't going to try and wait around for things to happen. That wasn't Dr. Zlo's style. Plus, the villain still needed to oversee the downfall of Sleepless City. He didn't have time to complete side quests.

"Tell us, Zlo-Mite," Dr. Zlo said. "Do you remember anything about before? When you were all alone, I mean."

His two friends looked at Dylan with a "what are you doing?" expression. Dylan motioned with his head toward The Imp.

The Imp was in the middle of eating, but once he heard Dr. Zlo's question, the little copy inhaled his food, swallowing the rest of it whole.

"Well," The Imp said, sucking a few crumbs off his fingers. "I remember I could see a lot of things. Possibilities, I think. But I couldn't touch them or anything. So one day, I decided to come and join in on the fun. I think I talked to some man in blue for a bit? I'm not really sure. He and I had a lot of fun, though! Then it was someone in black and dressed like an animal. Then I tried this team of heroes, and they made a lot of funny faces. And I think there were others?"

"Do you know why you forgot?" Dr. Zlo prodded.

"Nope," The Imp shook their head. "And I don't want to remember. I got you now."

Dr. Zlo frowned.

"Dude! It sounds like you had a lot of fun!" Riptide said.

"I did!" The Imp answered. "I made a bunch of friends! But I think a few of them didn't like me. Because they decided to kick me out a lot."

The Imp grabbed the cake sitting in front of Sweet Dream, snatching it away before she could stick her fork into it.

"Gee, I wonder why," Sweet Dream said.

"I love this little guy!" Riptide laughed.

Sweet Dream gave him a glare.

"And I love this surfboard!" The Imp said, pulling Riptide's surfboard out of the villain's hands.

"Dude! Not cool," Riptide said.

"I dunno," Sweet Dream laughed. "I think it's cool enough."

"Enough chit-chat," Dr. Zlo said. "Let's discuss taking over the city."

The villains leaned in.

"The first phase of our plan is done," Dr. Zlo said. "Now comes distribution."

The others nodded.

"Yeah, Zlo-Mite can help with that," Riptide said.

Sounds of battle crested over their chat, forcing the villains to stop talking as Psy-Ops and Fursation fought off the mob.

"Are you seriously having a picnic right now?!" Fursation said incredulously.

"Yeah, dude!" Riptide said. "Gotta stick to our schedule, you know?"

"Once we've given out enough cookies," Dr. Zlo continued, ignoring the fighting heroes, "We'll cut off distribution! No one will be able to get cookies unless they come to us personally!"

"I think we should storm the capitol building here," Sweet Dream said. "Make them declare us leaders if they want more cookies."

"An excellent decision," Dr. Zlo said. He turned to The Imp, "Zlo-Mite? How goes distribution?"

"I put all the cookies in all the stores across the city!" The Imp answered excitedly.

"Excellent!" Dr. Zlo cheered. "Then, after we finish up here, we'll march to take over the city!"

The three villains cheered in agreement and then watched as their mob forced Psy-Ops and Fursation to retreat. Dr. Zlo's hat and gloves came back a moment later, the villain re-donning them.

"Well then. Shall we go?" The villain said, straightening his hat.