Vaudevillain

As Easy As... (6)

Dr. Zlo made his way down the stairs to his machine, rubbing his hands together evilly. It was time for him to work, to make his fiendish mark on Sleepless City and make them rue the day! For what, Dr. Zlo didn't know, but it was important for villains like himself to make people rue. After all, what villain didn't have a chip on their shoulder and something to prove.

Dr. Zlo's crafting device loomed over the surrounding area, a king of machines amongst plebians. Dr. Zlo nodded sagely. His machine would be greater than others. It was only right for it to look so imposing.

Dr. Zlo opened up his power as he walked, crafting the addiction formula for the cookies. Once it finished and sat in his inventory, Dr. Zlo placed it on the crafting machine's scanner and started filling the various storage containers with the ingredients. Finally, he added some Sciencium to the mix.

Dr. Zlo flipped the switch, laughing maniacally and hamming it up for no one but himself, "Yes. Yes! Soon the city will fall to its knees! Muahahaha!"

"Hey, dad, whatcha doing?" The Imp asked.

"Ah!" Dr. Zlo recoiled in surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought you were upstairs?"

"I am upstairs," The Imp answered. "Look, see?"

The NPC waved a hand, opening up a glossy portal to show Riptide and The Imp playing around with the transformed hero. The two were tossing a ball back and forth, letting the dog chase it down. Dr. Zlo looked between The Imp upstairs and the one down here, eventually placing a hand over his face in annoyance.

"I officially hate reality warpers," the villain muttered.

"What's that, dad?" The Imp asked.

"I specifically asked you not to call me that!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "You got your cookies!"

"But that was the other Zlo-Mite," The Imp answered. "I haven't gotten any cookies."

"Then, go upstairs and get some," the villain complained. "I don't care."

"Really? Yippee!"

The Imp flew up the stairs, twisting past a group of Licor-Icks heading down. In a few seconds, the NPC looped around the room, picked up a handful of cookies, and made their way back down to Dr. Zlo. The conjured prankster stopped directly in front of the top-hatted villain, their mouth full of cookies.

"Thanks!" The Imp said, spilling crumbs all over.

Dr. Zlo hastily took a step back, avoiding the incoming barrage of sugar. The villain's face curled up in disgust, "I think I should rethink any future plans for clones."

The Imp audibly gulped, and Dr. Zlo saw the reality warper's throat grow like a bullfrog as cookies traveled down the NPC's gullet. It was a disturbing image. Dylan didn't realize how unsettling it was to see toon physics on realistic bodies.

"So, Zlo!" The Imp said, giggling at the rhyme. "What are we doing today?"

Dr. Zlo sighed, "I'm creating this addicting formula for Sweet Dream's cookies, who will then use said sugary concoctions to slowly corner the food market, making NPC's dependent on her saccharine treats! Once they're all adequately addicted, we shall order them to become our obeying army! Taking control of the city, and then the world!"

The villain's speech went from slightly dejected to manic in a matter of seconds, Dylan choosing to play up Dr. Zlo's megalomania.

"Oh cool," The Imp said. "Wanna play fetch?"

Dr. Zlo snapped his head around, "What? No! I'm very busy! Why would you think I'd want to play fetch?"

The Imp shrugged, "You seem like a go and get it kind of guy."

"Fetch is for animals," Dr. Zlo sniffed, "Like that dog you made."

"I'm just trying to spend quality time with you, Zlo," The Imp said.

A new message popped into Dylan's view.

The dangerous reality warper known as The Imp wants you to play with him! Doing so might reveal more about how they got stuck with the mind of a child!

"Thanks for the hint," Dylan whispered.

It looked like Dr. Zlo's tag along wouldn't leave him alone until he joined in on some "quality time." Dylan decided against any sort of traditional quality time. Dr. Zlo was not a family man. No, the villain would need an activity as dastardly as Dr. Zlo.

"I tell you what," Dr. Zlo said, a sneering smile on his face. "I might have just the game for us to play."

"Oh gee! What is it?" The Imp begged. "Come on! Tell me. Tell me tell me tellmetellme"

"I'm going to!" Dr. Zlo roared, glaring at the increasing annoyance.

The Imp shut up, the NPC sucking their lips inward as if it would make them quieter.

"Yes. I have the perfect game for us. One that uses all that energy you've bundled into that tiny body."

Dr. Zlo paced around the room, explaining the new plan forming in his mind. The Imp followed behind, trying to mimic every one of Dr. Zlo's moves.

"Now, you can create portals, and this cookie factory needs to distribute the cookies to the surrounding area. We were planning to use workers for it, but I feel like your powers are better suited."

"So, what's the game?" The Imp asked.

"The game is that you'll deliver the cookies for us," Dr. Zlo said.

"Booooring," The Imp complained. "I wanna do something fun!"

"But this is fun, don't you see!" Dr. Zlo boomed. "It's a giant game of hide-and-seek. Heroes will do everything in their power to stop us before we take control, meaning you'll have to play keep away until we corner enough of the population to take over!"

"I don't know," The Imp said.

"It comes with all the cookies you could possibly eat," Dr. Zlo continued, deciding to bribe the little menace.

"Zlo, you got yourself a deal!" The Imp said.

The reality warper spit on their hand, offering it to Dr. Zlo, "Shake on it?"

Dr. Zlo rolled his eyes, "A bit of advice, Zlo-Mite. Villain's don't make promises. We never keep them. Your sole concern should be furthering your personal goals. For example, you want to eat cookies. We have cookies and are willing to offer them to you as long as you follow orders. Understand?"

"Ohhhhhh," The Imp answered. "Yeah, I think I got it."

Dr. Zlo nodded, "Good. I expect nothing less from someone trying to copy my genius."

"You mean I'll be like you someday?" The Imp asked with big, hopeful eyes.

"Stop it with the puppy eyes," Dr. Zlo scoffed. "It won't work on fiendish villains such as myself. Though, I'm not sure about someone like Riptide."

"What's that about me, dude?" Riptide asked, surfing down the stairwell with The Imp in tow.

Dr. Zlo turned to see the copy he was talking to disappear, a cheshire grin appearing over the NPC's face before leaving.

"Nothing," Dr. Zlo said. "Just, rambling on about the crime like I usually do. I did get an idea, though. I think we should use Zlo-Mite as our delivery system. His reality warping powers will be perfect for keeping us under the radar!"

"Do I get cookies?" The Imp asked.

"Of course," Dr. Zlo nodded.

The villain turned to Riptide, "What do you think?"

"Uh, I think it's an awesome idea, dude!" Riptide answered. "But what will we do in the meantime?"

Dr. Zlo smiled, "I thought you'd never ask. Walk with me."

The villain made his way past Riptide and back up to Sweet Dream. The villainess stood over a group of Licor-Icks issuing orders like the queen her character was.

"You three, start preparing more batter. You two, find more suppliers. I want to see stacks of cookies taller than Jawbreaker, you understand!"

The Licor-Icks saluted, then dashed off to perform their tasks.

"What's up?" Sweet Dream asked as Dr. Zlo made his way over.

"We've solved our little distribution problem," Dr. Zlo said. "Zlo-Mite here is going to open portals and deposit them where we want."

"For cookies!" The Imp chirped.

"Yes, for cookies," Dr. Zlo echoed.

"Great, but you didn't need to tell me that in person," Sweet Dream said.

"I was thinking we could perform some, other tasks," Dr. Zlo said. "With how addicting your cookies are, it wouldn't be a bad idea to win over a few of the more prominent figures, don't you think?"

"I like the way you think, Dr. Zlo," Sweet Dream answered. "Got anything in mind?"

"Not yet! But I'm sure I'll think of something," Dr. Zlo answered. "There's bound to be a gala of some kind going on. There always is."

"Dude, call Dex up and ask," Riptide said.

"Or, I could go out and scout it myself and avoid owing that conniving corporatist a favor," Dr. Zlo replied.

"It could be an outing!" The Imp said. "We could have a picnic! I've always wanted a picnic! And Aunt Sweet Dream and Uncle Riptide can come along too!"

"What about your portals?" Sweet Dream asked.

"I can do it from anywhere!" The Imp said proudly.

"Well, dudes, you heard the little guy," Riptide said. "It's time for a picnic!"

"With lots of cookies!" The Imp cheered.