Vaudevillain

As Easy As... (11)

Dr. Zlo turned at Sweet Dream's words to see The Imp activate his powers. The reality warper's earlier victims appeared in their robotic forms, revealed when The Imp tipped his hat in greeting. The guards turned to the incoming intruders, pulling weapons out of holsters as they braced against the sandbags.

"Behold the might of my dizzying intellect!" The Imp shouted, their voice gratingly high.

"I do not sound like that!" Dr. Zlo yelled.

The Imp ignored the villain's words, choosing instead to point their rattle cane at the nearest guard. A spray of adhesive washed over the protectors, rooting them to the sandbags. The Imp then followed up with a laser blast from their eye, ignoring the monocle altogether.

"Looks like you're in a sticky situation!" The Imp cackled.

"I do not make bad puns!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "And I especially don't put emphasis on the pun in question, Zlo-Mite! If you're going to mimic me, do it right!"

The Imp ignored Dr. Zlo, lining up his minions Sir Destructo and Lady Dynamite next to the doors of the capitol building. Greeney ran around excitedly, barking up a storm. Behind him, Sweet Dream and Riptide finally got around to joining in on the fun. Dr. Zlo fumed behind them all, overacting to make sure everyone knew just how upset he was.

The villain kicked the ground as The Imp stormed the building, "That meddling miniature dares to make a fool out of me! I won't stand for it! Mark my words, Zlo-Mite will rue the day he dared to imitate my genius!"

Dr. Zlo shook a fist in the air, Dylan hamming up the act for anyone who might be watching. Nobody was. Dylan's friends were preoccupied with invading the capitol building. So no one saw Dr. Zlo acting up.

Dylan shrugged. Oh well. He could always perform the act again. Perhaps after they all destroyed the guards and took over the building.

The doors to the capitol building blasted inward as Sir Destructo and Lady Dynamite threw them open, their robotic weaponry splintering the wooden entrance. The Imp walked in with their hands behind their back, imitating overconfident villains. Sweet Dream and Riptide followed behind, still snickering at the whole production.

"Hello, reprobates and future slaves!" The Imp announced with a bow. "I am Zlo-Mite! And I require you to bow before me as I rule the city!"

The guards greeted the invaders with a hail of bullets that bounced off Sir Destructo and Lady Dynamite. Sweet Dream changed into her chocolate form, letting the shells sink into her candy coating without harm. Riptide surfed above the storm, laughing at The Imp's incoming tantrum.

"No! You're supposed to cower!" The Imp shouted.

"You tell him, Zlo-Mite!" Riptide laughed.

The surfer twisted around on his board, surfing a conjured wave into the firing guards. The NPC protectors fell under the assault, saltwater clogging up their weapons. Sweet Dream followed the assault, lobbing chocolate monsters into the crowd. They landed amidst the salt-soaked guards, entering into the dazed guard's mouths and sending them off to dreamland.

With the rank and file incapacitated, the villains were now free to look about the room. They stood in an open foyer, the walls and floor covered in gold. The ceiling above sported a soft pearl color and held a myriad of ornate chandeliers. Double doors to the left and right led further into the building, both blockaded by heavy sandbags the NPC guards erected.

"These minor blockades won't hold someone of my intellect!" The Imp boomed. With a wave of their hand, the little creature sent the sandbags flying, flinging them out of the building past Dr. Zlo. The villain ducked to the side, almost struck by one of the projectiles.

"Careful with those!" Dr. Zlo yelled.

"I'm always careful!" The Imp shouted back. "After all, I'm the greatest!"

Dr. Zlo made a face. While Dylan loved his miniature's mockery, Dr. Zlo wasn't exactly the biggest fan. So the villain made sure to glare at The Imp as he walked inside. The Imp waved back, giddy with excitement.

"Look! I tried to do it just like you did! What did you think?"

"Leave the supervillainry to the supervillains," Dr. Zlo answered, pushing past The Imp. "Here, let me show you."

Dr. Zlo walked up to the cleared double doors, throwing them open with a push. He strode into a hallway. Office doors on each side hung open like gaping spectators. No one else stood in the area.

"Running away, I see," Dr. Zlo said. "Well, it just so happens I accounted for this."

Dr. Zlo pulled off his monocle and gave it a quick polish, activating the gadgetry inside it. The lens inside tinted a light green as Dr. Zlo placed it back over his eye, revealing sets of footprints tracing off down the hall. Dr. Zlo pressed on, following the tracks until they led him to another set of double doors. With a grunt, Dr. Zlo threw open the doors, revealing the officials inside.

"Good evening!" Dr. Zlo said, walking in. "Wait, hold on." The villain paused in his monologue, staring at the people inside. "None of you seem to be the leadership type. Interns would be my guess."

True enough, the men and women huddled together were relatively young, looking every bit recent graduates from some prestigious university. A few even held coffee trays in trembling hands. Dr. Zlo frowned at the sight. Obviously, someone had moved the important figures of state. But who?

Of course, this was all really The Imp's fault. Dr. Zlo wouldn't have to chase these leaders down if the little menace hadn't called ahead. And not chasing them was out of the question. The populace had to see the officials handing over control to Dr. Zlo. How else would they know the villain was in charge?

As The Imp entered the room, Dr. Zlo whirled.

"Look what you did!" The villain complained. "I should have known better than to let you tag along!"

"What?" The Imp asked, befuddled.

Dr. Zlo gestured at the interns, "These are not the movers and shakers of Sleepless City! They aren't even middlemen! Your tip-off let all of them get away!"

The Imp looked down, "I only wanted to be like you."

"Well, you failed," Dr. Zlo said. "And unless you can fix this, I don't think you should join us on any more missions."

"No! I can fix it!" The Imp said. "I can find where they are!"

The reality warper waved a hand, opening up a portal.

"Here they are!" The Imp said.

Sure enough, a group of aged men and women stood across the portal. A ragtag team of heroes guarded them, and Dr. Zlo noticed Psy-Ops in the mix.

"It seems like you can do something right, at least," Dr. Zlo said.

The villain stepped through the portal, bowing. "Good evening!" He started. "I am Dr. Zlo! Criminal mastermind! These are my associates, Sweet Dream and Riptide."

"And I'm Zlo-Mite!" The Imp said proudly.

"A nuisance, more like," Dr. Zlo said under his breath. Louder, the villain continued his speech, "We're here to inform you of our intent to take over Sleepless City. Of course, a hostile takeover is not our intention. We only want to bring the joy of sugary goodness to the people of the world!"

Psy-Ops scoffed, "As if. I know what those cookies can do. And we're not about to let you win."

"Ah, Psy-Ops," Dr. Zlo said with a smile. "I see you've recovered from our last encounter. Though, I do wonder. How are you going to stop me?"

Psy-Ops cracked his knuckles, "With good old-fashioned violence."

Dr. Zlo laughed, brandishing his cane, "I'd like to see you try! Zlo-Mite! Open up some portals for our new army to use! Let them know they can have more treats if they help us beat down these heroes!"

"You got it!" The Imp saluted. Another portal opened with a wave of their hand, revealing a crowd of salivating NPCs fighting for the last few crumbs of cookies.

"Minions!" The Imp shouted. "Destroy the heroes, and cookies for everyone!"

The addicted NPCs rushed through the portal, practically shoving each other out of the way to complete the task. Riptide had to grab Sweet Dream, the two soaring into the air on the villain's surfboard to avoid the incoming mob. Dr. Zlo did the same, activating his rocket boots and laughing maniacally.

"You see that, Psy-Ops!" The villain shouted. "You won't be able to stop me now that I have my army!"

"That's where you're wrong!" Psy-Ops shouted. "We're strong enough to stop you!"

The hero pulled a gas grenade out of his inventory, tossing it into the crowd. A blast of smoke erupted from the canister, and the NPCs around it found themselves slumping over, their eyes heavy. But there were plenty others, and soon they swarmed the heroes' positions.

Dr. Zlo hovered above it all with Riptide and Sweet Dream, watching the fight play out.

"Keep our army coming, Zlo-Mite," Dr. Zlo said. "If we play this right, none of us will have to lift a finger."