Chapter 207 – The Squishy Designations.
Chapter 207 – The Squishy Designations.
"Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew!" A small Catkagi let out cute meows as she bounced an inflatable ball off her head while sitting on the living room table. Mika had asked her to do some tricks so she could record her, and the floofy Demon was not one to deny her friend a bit of fun.
"And here she is everyone, the literal incarnation of darkness herself! Look how adorable she is bouncing that little ball! And don't forget how those kitty ears and the tail that make her cuteness level fly off the charts!" Mika laughed as she recorded Akagi's activity. "Join me in welcoming our new kitty-Demon overlord, and don't forget to subscribe to the channel for more kitty content!" She'd made an entire channel dedicated to short videos and posts about Akagi, which had gotten an absurd amount of views.
{If this is anything like the video she posted of Onee-chan riding on the ceiling fan, she's going to get MILLIONS of views...} Kana had long since given up on trying to get her sister to act normal, and had reluctantly come to terms with Akagi's antics. Though she tended to enjoy these things more than she'd ever admit to.
"Why are you encouraging her?" Hishya sighed as her eyes followed the ball. She and some of the others were sitting around the living room table when Akagi decided to start acting silly and they were semi mesmerized by the rhythmic bouncing. "Is the money you get from ads really worth it?"
"Come on, Hishya. You can't tell me she's not cute. I mean, just look at the cute little kitty and her silly ball bouncing! People love cat videos, so just imagine how much they'll enjoy a kinda actually but not really catgirl that's really a Demon." Mika laughed as she swiped away her recording software. "Now to upload it and see how many views it gets!"
{Mama needs a new AR device!} (Mika)
"I mean, she is cute, I'll concede that point..." Hishya rolled her eyes. "But that's not the most important thing here, Mika. You don't see me doing silly things like that with my Dragon features, do you?" She figured people would be very interested in silly Dragon videos.
"You're acting all high and mighty for the person who was happily playing with said kitty when we got here." Naomi grinned.
"SHE MADE ME DO IT!" Hishya exclaimed loudly in an attempt to cover her ass. She'd gotten a bit distracted as she messed around with Akagi, and didn't notice the approaching girls. Kana took the opportunity to tease the heck out of her, and Mika got a video of Hishya playing tug of war with Akagi.
{That stupid cat KNEW they were coming and chose NOT to warn me...} (Hishya)
"A likely story." Kana huffed. "I see you're the kind of girl to cheat on one sister with the other." She feigned being hurt.
"You know that couldn't be further from the truth." Hishya flicked her on the forehead. "Trust me, YOU are more than enough trouble, Kana. I don't need whatever THAT is..." She pointed to Akagi, who was still bouncing the ball happily.
"Akagi is mine anyway." Yumi gave a fierce smile that told everyone that she knew how to dispose of bodies. "I don't share." She was fine with simple playing, but anything more was going to bring out the scary side of the Priestess.
"Wait, why am I trouble?!?" Kana exclaimed while rubbing her forehead. "I never cause problems for anyone!" She couldn't believe that Hishya of all people called her trouble!
{This coming from the Dragon who likes to sleep all day on her pillows yet always ends up in the middle of whatever chaos is going on!} (Kana)
"Shall I get out the list?" Hishya asked. "We can start with your incessant need to pick on others."
"Yeah, Scary Kana is big trouble." Naomi smirked. "She's given Mika and I such grief over these years." She decided to join in on the harassment.
"Do I need to hit you with Himari again?" Kana glared at her friend, ready to bonk her.
"Please don't use me to bludgeon people... I'm a sword, not a club..." Himari complained about being used as an instrument of pain.
"Anything heavy enough can be a club." Kana said confidently.
{I'm made for cutting, not bonking...} (Himari)
"Considering my sister is as foolish as she is, I'd say she should've been forged as a warhammer or some other kind of blunt weapon." Momo chuckled. "Lord knows she's not very sharp."
"Pffff." (Mika x Naomi x Kana x Hishya x Yumi)
"At least our creators got you right, Momo. After all, you are a stick in the mud." Himari hit back.
"Ohhh scathing... What's next? Are you going to call me a toothpick again?" Momo's eye-rolling was audible.
"Ok children, stop arguing." Akagi spoke up.
"She started it." Himari tried pointing the blame at her sister.
“Its not my fault that Himari is like this.” Momo huffed. The two tended to act like this a bit more than Akagi would like, and she'd gotten frustrated with their incessant bickering when they were together.
"And I don't care." Akagi sighed. "Can it."
"It's just a bit of sibling banter." Hishya shrugged. "Honestly, it's nothing that you and Kana don't do." She was surprised that Akagi voiced her displeasure over the banter.
"Oi!" Kana cried out in protest but was ignored.
"Yeah, but you see. Unlike these two, when we do it its mostly for fun and laughs rather than slinging stupid comments back and forth.” Akagi said.
{Not to mention those two tend to get like this EVERY time they're together...} (Akagi)
"By we, I think you mean you." Kana glared at her. "Since 99% of the time, it's your fault for starting things!" She didn't like the insinuation that she was just as guilty as Akagi, though everyone else knew it was true.
Akagi started whistling rather than answer her complaint.
{I'm gonna throw you, you tiny cat!} (Kana)
"Hey! The views and comments are finally coming in!" Mika said excitedly as she looked at her page. "The top comment says I Can't Believe the World Ending Horror is this Cute! and it has... 10k likes already!" She laughed.
{We've already got half a million views! I'm beginning to think I should just do this for my career. Maybe Akagi would take me on as her PR person?} Mika laughed internally at her silly joke.
"Well, I am cute, so it's natural they think so." Akagi said with a smug expression.
"Yes you are!" Yumi picked her up off the table and placed the small Catkagi in her lap. "You're the cutest world-destroying Demon kitty! When you decide to take over the world, you can just sit in my lap while you order your legions to march forward!" Akagi and Yumi laughed, though how seriously either of them were was unknown.
{I can already see it now...} (Hishya)
"How did this become our lives?" Hishya groaned. "We've got the Demon Lord turning herself into a small catgirl doing tricks for people on the internet for laughs..."
{Its honestly kind of funny if you think about it, and about right for Akagi.} (Naomi)
"Don't forget the constant threat of annihilation!" Akagi said while being fluffed.
"Ah yes, sorry." Hishya rolled her eyes. "How could I forget that important tidbit."
"I think Hishya is just envious." Yumi laughed. "I bet that she wishes that she could shrink down and be a tiny Dragon that Kana snuggles with."
"No I don't!" Hishya denied the Priestess's, likely accurate, assertion. "I am perfectly content with how I am, and I don't need anyone coddling me!" Though she wouldn't deny that having Kana snuggle like that might have been nice.
"I'd almost be inclined to believe you if you didn't make a fuss when I played with your tail." Kana squinted in doubt.
{You enjoy pets just as much as Onee-chan does! So don't sit here and act like you're better, Ms. Lizard who likes being spoiled!} (Kana)
"Quiet you!" Hishya growled at her.
"Oh?" Mika and Naomi perked up.
"I will refrain from saying more. But just know that our resident Dragon here is much more interested in being spoiled than she lets on." Kana giggled.
{I swear to god, if you talk about this any further I'm showing everyone those pictures!} (Hishya)
"Maybe we should start petting Hishya then?" Mika gave a twisted smile. "Would the Dragon like to be scratched? I could even lotion up your scales for you!"
"Mika, you do recall what happened the LAST time you messed with me, don't you." Hishya pursed her lips and made a small flame appear. She'd definitely burn her again if she tried anything funny.
"Don't worry, Mika!" Akagi jumped into Mika's lap and spread out her arms in a protective manner. "The Kitty shall save you from the evil Dragon!"
"My hero!" Mika swooned as the great kitty hero came to her rescue.
"Come evil Dragon! I Akagi the Hero shall defeat you and save this fair wench from your nasty plans!" Akagi smirked.
{What the hell is this role reversal?!?} (Hishya)
"Yeah, you tell-" Mika stopped as she soon as she realized what Akagi said. "Wait, what do you mean wench?!?" She grabbed Akagi and started to squeeze the life out of the small cat.
"It's a form of endearment, don't worry about it." Akagi smiled.
"NO IT FUCKING ISN'T!" Mika squeezed Akagi so tight that she exploded in a shower of black particles that rained down across the room.
{YOU FUCKING EXPLODED AGAIN!} (Mika)
"Did Akagi just... explode?" Naomi was struggling to speak as she was laughing too hard, and doubled over on the couch.
"She does that occasionally..." Kana was also similarly red from laughing.
{I hate that she can say that with complete seriousness...} (Hishya)
"Exploding is fun." Akagi reformed on Yumi's lap with a shit eating grin on her face.
"I give you pets, treats, and even play with you, and this is how you repay me?!?" Mika cried in protest.
"And all those things are appreciated." Akagi nodded. "But that doesn't make you immune from my teasing, Mika. I think I've told you that before." She continued. "Besides, you make lots of money having me do silly things in those videos, so I think a bit of a tax is warranted." The Demon kitty snickered.
"Damn you, kitty..." Mika glared at her, knowing she was right.
"At least she called you a fair wench." Naomi said while wiping tears from her eyes.
"Suuure, because that makes things soooo much better." Mika sighed.
"Hey, compared to the courtesans I hit up in FWO, Mika's a 10/10." Akagi winked, which caused Yumi to laugh.
"Oh god, don't remind me of that..." Hishya shook her head. "You fucking loved going into the red light district..." She felt Kana's gaze pierce into her soul. "A PLACE I NEVER EVER WENT TO!"
{I can never tell Kana what I did in those places...} (Hishya)
"I'm glad to see Akagi spreads her torment among everyone equally." Yumi smiled.
"Yeah, it's nice to watch her mess with someone else for a change." Kana smiled in agreement, since she was usually the most targeted of the group.
"Yup." Hishya nodded.
"Mika gets off light on that front, in my opinion anyway." Naomi agreed.
"She literally never picks on you." Mika frowned. Most of the time Akagi never did anything to harass Naomi, and she thought it was unfair favoritism.
"Naomi gets enough crap from me by listening to my issues." Akagi said. "Thus I keep additional tormenting to a minimum as compensation." She figured that was only fair.
"You bastard!" (Kana x Mika)
"Why does she get special treatment?!?" Kana was genuinely annoyed. "I'm your sister, and I get no reprieve!"
{You treat your friend better than your own sister?!?} (Kana)
"Yeah, and you even called me your Official Backup Squishy!" Mika thought this was a silly title but liked it. "Where are my benefits?!?" She figured the title came with some kind of better treatment and rewards.
"Backup squishy?" Hishya didn't understand that term. "What does that mean? I don't like the sound of it..." She figured it was something stupid.
"It just means that Mika is my go-to in case Yumi is unavailable for pets and other snuggles." Akagi smiled.
{I shall not allow it! Akagi will be floofed by me as much as possible!} (Yumi)
"Ahh, so Mika's one of your capture targets." Hishya laughed as she used a term from Otome games.
"Yup, but rather than sex, my harem provides snuggles, cuddles, and pets." Akagi laughed as Yumi played with her ears.
"Oh god, she's right..." Kana put her head in her hands as she realized the truth.
{Onee-chan has her own fucking snuggle harem...} (Kana)
"Is that all we are to you? People who provide for your needs?" Mika asked in fake outrage.
"Yep! You exist for one purpose, and that is to spoil me!" Akagi chuckled. “Be happy, for you have been given a great honor by being a designated floofer!”
"When people ask what the meaning of life is, we can just tell them that your only purpose is to pet the Demon kitty." Naomi laughed.
"Of the many answers to that question, this has to be the one that nobody had on their bingo card." Kana sighed.
{Speaking of bingo card, I need to check mine again. I've been crossing so many things off it over this last year that its been crazy.} (Akagi)
"My condolences, Yumi." Hishya was still laughing. “I can't imagine how demanding of you the kitty is.”
{The poor girl must be tired from all the sleepless nights.} (Hishya)
"Akagi is a harsh mistress, but I shall do all in my power to meet her snuggle needs!" Yumi started laughing as she picked up the small Catkagi and began to woosh her around like a toy airplane.
"Out of curiosity, what titles would the rest of us have?" Naomi asked about their squishy designations.
"Kana would be Initially Reluctant Squishy. Hishya would be Angry Squishy and Naomi, you would be Emergency Squishy!" Akagi answered.
"I hate how my title is so accurate..." Kana hung her head in defeat.
{I've basically succumbed to her craziness and now play with her on the regular. What has become of me?} (Kana)
"Why am I the angry one?" Hishya asked, pretending not to know the answer.
"Because you yell a lot." Akagi smiled. "And because you're a Dragon."
"How did we get here again?" Mika asked the question everyone else wanted to.
"I keep telling you, Onee-chan can lower our IQ with her powers..." Kana sighed. "And she uses said power to derail everything and make us talk about stupid things."
"Hey, at least we're having fun!" Akagi gave a toothy smile. "Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the floofy cat. I can promise you that touching me is quite refreshing! I've spent countless hours making this body as squish and soft as possible!"
"Indeed! The power of floof compels you!" Yumi giggled as she held Akagi out in front of her. "All hail the mighty Demon kitty of floof and destruction! May her reign be eternal and filled with nothing but cuteness!"
"I for one welcome our new fluffy overlord." Mika laughed.