The Red Hand

Chapter 206 – Letters.

"Mama, where are we going?" Alice asked as she and Akagi walked along a sidewalk in an outlying suburb of Nagoya. The Demon had told her nothing about the nature of their outing, other than that they were going to do something important together.

"Somewhere I should have taken you a long time ago." Akagi smiled. "Now, come on, we're almost there." She grabbed Alice's hand, and the two walked up to a small entryway, behind which was a large number of visible gravestones. As was traditional Japanese custom, people were usually cremated, and their remains were interred in small family graves due to the lack of space for large cemeteries. The Ikebuki family was no different, and their plot was within this one. After a bit of digging, Akagi managed to find out where Alice's parents were buried after their deaths, as Alice couldn't remember much about that time. The girl remembered only bits and pieces of her life before her time in the orphanage, and her parents' funeral was little more than a fuzzy memory by this point.

"This place... I feel like I've been here before." Alice commented as she and Akagi wandered between the stones, looking for the Ikebuki family. She would've been here at the time of her parents funeral, but that was so long ago and she was so young that it would be shocking if she remembered it at all.

"I suspect that you have been... There it is." Akagi stopped in front of a stone monument that bore the Ikebuki family name. "Do you remember now?" She asked as Alice stared at the grave.

"Y-Yes..." Alice said quietly. "I remember now... this place... it's where they're buried..." It seemed that a few memories returned to her, and they weren't happy ones.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to bring you here." Akagi said as she knelt down next to her. "But I've brought you here to rectify that mistake, and to put your parents' souls at ease..." She'd been so busy with everything else, that taking Alice to her parents grave slipped her mind.

{Not like they're actually here though...} (Akagi)

"I don't even remember them..." Alice started to cry as she looked at the stone. "Their faces... their voices... I don't remember any of it..." It had been a decade since their deaths, so this wasn't surprising given what she'd gone through.

"Your daughter has gone through a lot, Fumi, Yuji." Akagi started speaking to the gravestones as she put one arm around the crying Alice. "But where are my manners? I'm sure you already know who I am, but allow me to properly introduce myself. My name is Akagi Dumetor, the Demon Lord, and I've taken in your daughter, Sara. She's gone through much more pain and suffering than anyone should ever go through in one lifetime but... it's over now." She gave a bitter smile. Most of those who put Alice through her torture had died at her hands, but there were still a few who Akagi planned on bringing to justice. "The two of you were taken away from her at such a young age..." She stopped. This conversation was hitting a bit close to home, and it took her a second to compose herself. "The two of you were taken away from her far too soon. I know what it's like to grow up without parents, and both she and I have endured a great deal of misery at the hands of others..." Akagi pulled Alice into a hug. "I know I'm not your first pick as someone to take over where you left off. Hell I'm probably not even on that list at all." She gave a self deprecating laugh. "Lord knows I'm not the greatest person, but I can promise you that I'll do everything in my power to take care of her and to make sure that she never has to feel pain again.” She rubbed Alice's head. "I've taken your daughter as my own, and I will forever treat her as my child, from now until the end of time." Akagi continued. "As long as I live, I will never allow her to be alone again, and no one shall ever bring her harm." Naturally, the graves gave no reply, but that was fine. Akagi felt a great weight lift off her shoulders as she let these feelings out for the first time. Alice had come to mean so much to her over these past few years, and ever since they escaped FWO, she'd taken her role as Mama even more seriously.

{I'm sorry that I can't do anything to reunite you... Even if I were to spend countless eons searching reality for your souls... it would be all for not...} Souls would be washed through the cycle of reincarnation and thus would lose their old memories and personalities. While it would technically be possible to locate the souls of Alice's parents, they would have no connection to their past lives. Akagi had not informed Alice of this little tidbit, as she feared it would only worsen some of Alice's issues, but resolved to one day tell her.

{The two of you are long gone by now... but if it was possible... if you were looking down from wherever you are right now... if you could give me your blessing... I would be grateful.} Akagi was not praying per se, but figured it couldn't hurt to have a bit of hope.

"Mama, why are you crying?" Alice looked Akagi in the eyes. The Demon was crying, and it seemed that not even she noticed.

"I-Its nothing, really." Akagi wiped her eyes as she chuckled.

{I suppose I could say it's raining, but that would be in bad taste.} (Akagi)

"I'll be fine." Akagi hugged her. "And I'm sorry, Alice. I'm so sorry for everything that you had to go through. I... I wish that I'd been able to do something for you sooner."

"It's ok, Mama." Alice hugged her back. "You're here now, and that's all that matters."

"Thank you." Akagi smiled. "Just promise me one thing." She looked Alice in her eyes.

"Promise?" Alice tilted her head, not understanding.

"Promise me that you'll never forget your parents again." Akagi's eyes told just how serious she was. "That you'll never forget their love, their affection, and how much you meant to them."

{You can't... You just CAN'T...} (Akagi)

"Fumi and Yuji... they weren't around for very long, but I know for a fact that they loved you very much." Akagi smiled. "So never forget that love, and know that even if they are gone..." She put her hand over Alice's heart. "That they will always be with you in here, and so long as you never forget them, they will never truly be gone."

"I promise..." Alice said quietly.

"Good girl." Akagi pat her on the head again. "And I promise you that I'll always be here for you." She continued. "I know I'm not your real mother, and I won't dare to try and act like her or take her place, but... would you do me the honor of being my child?" She'd never actually asked Alice something like this, and their relationship had been born out of Alice's insanity rather than a mutual agreement.

"Of course!" Alice smiled. "Mama is my Mama. And I wouldn't want it any other way." She hugged Akagi. "I love you, Mama."

{Love... a word which I understand... but... I still don't feel it within...} Akagi thought to herself as she hugged the girl. {Is what I feel for Alice love? Is it affection? What is it? I have no idea, but everything I know is telling me that feeling love for others... is just not possible. I can't even say it to Yumi and mean it, but... to deny this child those words...}

Seeing that Akagi was struggling Alice squeezed her harder. "It's ok, Mama. You don't have to say it back." Her words broke Akagi out of her stupor. "I know it's hard for you to understand that word... and I know you struggle with the concept of love... but that's fine." She giggled. "Even if you can't say it, I know that you love me in your own way and that I'm important to you, and that's fine."

"I... I'm sorry, Alice..."Akagi squeezed her back. "I'm a terrible mother. I can't even say that I love my own daughter." For probably the first time since she returned from FWO, she was annoyed with an aspect of her being.

{Do I even really love Kana? Or am I just saying that out of some kind of obligation? I keep saying that she is the one and only exception to my inability to feel love, but is that merely something I've tricked myself into believing?} (Akagi)

"That's not right. You're not a bad Mom." Alice shook her head. "Besides, you say you don't feel love, but I don't think that's true." She continued. "I think you've just convinced yourself that what you're feeling isn't love because you're afraid to feel it... I know how it feels to have those kinds of emotions torn apart by others, so it's fine if you can't understand things now." This surprisingly mature reasoning momentarily stunned Akagi. "What you call it doesn't matter because I and everyone else at home knows you love us. So you don't need to say it if it causes you pain." She figured the real problem wasn't Akagi's status as a Demon Lord, but rather the emotion trauma she'd endured all her life. Alice figured that it wasn't that Akagi couldn't feel love, rather she was afraid to because the two people who should have loved her unconditionally didn't.

"I don't know how to feel being consoled by you." Akagi laughed. "But thanks..."

"Children can help their parents just as much as they help their children." Alice backed away. "So don't forget that I'm always here for you too!" She smiled.

"I won't. I know that you and everyone else at home loves me dearly, and I'm truly grateful for it." Akagi stood up and wiped her tears away. "And now, I've got one last thing for you before we leave." She pulled the same box she got from the orphanage basement out of her inventory. "Here, take this."

"I remember that!" Alice exclaimed as she took the box. "They told me it was junk and wouldn't let me have it!" She huffed as she recalled her time at the orphanage.

Alice's words momentarily angered Akagi, but she quickly got herself under control. "Open it. I think you'll like what's inside."

Alice slowly opened the box and looked inside. The first thing she noticed was the teddy bear, followed by a picture of her and her parents when they went on vacation when she was three, along with sealed pack of letters.

"Mom... Dad..." Alice said as she looked over the photo. "I... I remember this... we had so much fun..." She placed the photo into her inventory, then moved to the letters.

{I wonder what this is?} (Alice)

Slowly and carefully, Alice opened the envelope. After taking a moment to look through the different letters within, she started crying, hard. "They... they went through all the trouble of..."

Within the sealed envelope was a set of letters written by her parents. There were six of them, one for each birthday she'd had by that point, plus the one close by. Each detailed their year together as a family, and Akagi presumed that these, plus twelve more, would be given to her on her eighteenth birthday as it was something she'd heard about other parents doing for their children. Alongside the letters was a small certificate that served to identify the stuffed bear. Its name was Toki, and it was apparently a special one made specifically for Alice by a toy company. Her parents were planning on giving it to her on her sixth birthday, and the respective letter even makes mention of the bear.

"It seems they wanted to give you this little guy for your birthday back them, though fate didn't allow it." Akagi put her hand on Alice's shoulder. "But, even though it's a bit belated, happy birthday Alice." She smiled.

"T-Thank you... thank you for finding him!" Alice hugged her. "Thank you for finding these letters... and thank you for helping me to remember them..."

Akagi hugged her back but said nothing.

{I hope that wherever you are and whatever form you've taken, that this has brought some kind of peace to you if that's even possible. I'm not one to believe in superstition or anything of the sort, but in this one instance, I'm going to hope that your daughter's feelings find their way across Space and Time to find you both.} (Akagi)

The two stayed like that for a few minutes until they separated and returned back to the estate. Upon returning, Alice quickly put together a small glass case to place Toki in, and cast a spell to preserve him, along with the picture of her parents. On that day, a small part of her heart healed, and she took an important step forward in her recovery, and Kana would note that she seemed marginally more coherent from that day onward.