Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 439 INTRODUCTIONS

“Kid, if you doomed us, I’m gonna be kind of pissed,” Wolverine mumbled. The X-men were slowly gravitating toward one another as the others got into their own cliques and groups. The area was starting to empty around us after some more chatter from their king/Majestor. 

“I take it back,” Storm said. “He is everything you said and worse.” She directed the comment to Cyclops. 

“I thought it was masterfully done,” Hank McCoy said. He was Beast in the comics and one of the smartest minds in the Marvel Universe. He was a big man with huge muscles, but not overly covered in blue fur like his hero name would imply. Perhaps something would happen later to make him turn into Sully from Monsters Inc. “We know these people value fighting and honor.” Some people reacted a little better but I put on my dumb face. Acting like I didn’t think of that. 

“What’s done is done,” Xavier said. “It seems we are all a little lost…and despite Weston’s methods, we do know more about what is going on.” I nodded, pleased that at least some could see my efforts. “I have been scanning the minds of those around us. There is much they are not telling us.” I looked around. There were more guards near the platform we were on. They had metal armor and carried futuristic guns. 

“From what I can tell, whatever picked us, chose the strongest humans within a few hundred miles of New York,” he said. “Which must be where this Car-Ell is originally from.” He pointed at the blonde guy. “Though he appears to not know this.”

“Yeah, well it seems we got humans and mutants here,” Wolverine said. Sniffing deeply. “These people definitely aren’t human. They smell like…birds.”

“Birds?” I asked. Looking around, they did have colorful hair, and clothes. Strutting around, I kind of got a sense of peacocks from how they stood. All high and mighty, like everyone should look like them.

“We have three days to figure out how to get out of this,” Xavier said. “That or…” 

“We kick their asses,” I said with a nod. “I like that idea more.”

“These people are strong,” Wolverine said. “Why the hell are you here?” He asked, looking at Anne.

“Uh…” She said, blushing, not used to so many eyes on her. She was the only non-X-Men there. 

“Anne has a strong ability,” I said. “She can steal the powers of people. They must check out potential strength too.” That was the only reason I could come up with. “What should-”

“Excuse me, humans,” a female voice said. We all turned to see one of the aliens standing outside of our group. She was shorter, and had a red colored afro for hair. Her face scrunched together at her nose, she was a butter face. Everything about her figure was hot…but her face. She looked like some weird mix of a bird and human. Somewhere between 15% bird and the rest human. Kind of like those ugly half-breeds in that Grimm TV show. Long nose, sharp chin and cheekbones, they were far from appealing for normal humans. 

“Yes, I have been assigned as your…caretaker,” the Shi-ar woman said. “You may call me Polree. A residence has been located for your stay. The glorious Majestor has also allotted you an honor guard, and sols for spending. If you would follow me, we can make our way there.” She pointed to a large flat spaceship just off the platform we were on. The ship looked like the deck of a ship. An open top, there were some controls and someone was already standing at them. It floated about a foot off the ground. 

“Shotgun,” I called and walked over to the platform without hesitation. Anne stuck close to me, her haki all over the place. She didn’t want to stray too far. I was doing my best to act nonchalant to help her along, but she was struggling. Our recent fight hadn’t helped matters either. Her mind going from angry to thankful to me, I didn’t want to address it just yet. 

There were no seats on the ship, but I did stand next to the man controlling the ship. As the others walked on, I was busy asking questions. “How do you control this thing? What’s this button do? How do you get a job of prisoner ferryman?” I asked as many as I could think of but the man didn’t answer. Instead once everyone was on, including the quiet Car-Ell, we lifted off. I sighed, my Observation Haki watching him manage the controls, and turned back around to the others. 

“Peter, Gwen, Jessica, over here,” I said, pointing at the trio hovering close by the X-man group. 

“Weston, what the fuck is going on?” Gwen Stacy hissed. Her eyes were big. Jessica Jones was just as lost. Her big eyes staring at me for answers I shrugged.

“You’re hallucinating,” I said. “This is all a dream.”

“Oh thank god,” Gwen said with a sigh. “I thought I was going crazy.”

“Nope,” I said. “Hey, didn’t I tell you aliens were real? And look at that, I brought you to meet them.” 

“How the hell did you bring me here?” She asked. “I thought the aliens did.”

"Technically, I’m the one that had the spider that made you super strong. And since you’re strong, you were brought here. So, it’s thanks to me that you’re here, seeing real aliens. You’re welcome.” She opened her mouth but didn’t have an answer to that. 

“Who is this?” Anne asked, breaking her silence. Her Haki was pure jealousy as she glared at Gwen. I rolled my eyes, not wanting to deal with the drama. But at least she was focusing on this and not the fact that we were a billion miles from home.

“These are the spider twins I talked about,” I said. “Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, meet Anne Marie.”

“Weston caused me to almost die a couple of times,” Gwen said, shaking Anne’s hand.

“Hey, I healed you those times. If that’s your attitude, maybe I’ll forego it next time,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Just…telling the truth.”

“Up yours,” I said, laughing. “Oh right, and this is Lyra Talbot. Lyra, here is Gwen, Peter, and Anne. And Jessica too.” I pointed at the quiet dark haired girl as she stared between each of us. 

“So you have a super power too?” Gwen asked Lyra.

“I…” She didn’t answer, blushing.

“She has anger issues,” I said for her. 

“Don’t I have Biology with you?” Peter asked Jessica. 

“Uh yeah, wait you all have super powers?” Jessica asked. n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

“Uhhhh,” Gwen and Peter said as one. 

“She has them too,” I reminded the duo. I decided they could all catch up later as I looked around. “Who else do I know?” There was the homeless guy who I didn’t recognize. The giant of a man, and the magician looking guy. Also the Fantastic Four who were all huddling and talking to one another. They were a few years older than me and my crowd but pretty lost as we all were. I wasn’t sure how to address knowing most everything about all these people.

“Isn’t that the leader of Genosha?” Gwen whispered. Pointing at Magneto who was conversing with the professor. 

“Yeah, it looks like they’re planning stuff,” I said. “We need to make sure we don’t let them steamroll us and take charge.”

“What? Why?” Jessica asked. Wolverine perked up, listening in.

“We are on an alien planet. There are so many things to learn and do here. If you let them take charge, they will make us stay in whatever cell they stick us in. Just…let me handle it. Back my plays, alright?” 

“Like with that Majestor guy?” Peter asked. “I about shit myself trying not to laugh.”

“Thank you,” I said truthfully. “That’s why I do it, for the laughs. No one else was stepping up, so I decided why not? Besides, this sounds pretty damn fun.”

“Fun?!” Lyra laughed. “Seriously? We just got out of a different dimension, and now we are zapped to god knows where. I thought I was just unlucky, but I’m starting to think it’s you that is causing this?” 

“Another dimension?” Gwen asked. “Why didn’t I hear about this?”

“Me either?” Anne asked, jealous of Lyra now too. I rolled my eyes. 

“Jeez, I thought I was the one that was unlucky,” Jessica mumbled.

“I swear, after this whole ordeal, I will answer all questions about the adventures I find myself in. For now, we need to focus. I don’t know about you, but I want to go exploring. Let’s figure out some more about this planet, train a little, kick some bird people’s asses…no wait kick their tail feathers, and get back to Earth.”

“You really think it will be that easy?” Gwen asked, hopeful. 

“Fuck no,” I said truthfully. “There is a lot of drama going on that we aren’t privy to. Until the answers reveal themselves though, let’s have fun.” 

I stopped talking as the flying ship began to land. Cursing for missing my chance at seeing everything from the air, I looked around us. There were tall buildings but large tracks of land between the structures. The many trees between the buildings had a cyan tint to them. Like a light blue with some green mixed in, it was different but pleasant. Between the trees and buildings were many paved paths that people walked or drove floating cars on. Many other flying ships all around us, I looked up to see massive ships in the sky. 

It took me a moment to realize they were spaceships. Though just outside the atmosphere they looked large. Resembling some impossibly large ship from Alien or other futuristic movies, there were red glowing engines at the back of them as they slowly moved across the sky. 

Suddenly the platform landed and we were next to a large building. The building reminded me of the sultans palace from Aladdin. Not near as big, there were spherical sections all around the building. Everything had a rounded edge with a brass color to it. A large metal platform under the ship we slowly walked off as our guide began to talk. 

“This is one of the many villas assigned to… dignitaries visiting the Shi’ar homeworld. There are over two dozen available rooms on the upper floors. Guards will be stationed outside at all times. An assortment of foods will be made available to you.”

“What about the currency?” I asked.

“Yes, like most of the universe we use the sol,” she said. Pointing to a chest on a table. I opened it to find the inside filled with small glowing chips. They resembled poker chips, but were more of an oval shape. Many different colors for them, I guessed the colors denoted different values. There were far more yellow glowing ones than others. I discreetly began to put different colors into my status screen.

I learned that they were much like dollars. The yellows were 1 sol, the red was five, blue was ten. I wasn’t stingy and only took a handful. Hoping to figure out the conversion rate later when I tried to sell some of my DC world loot to the bird people. 

The guide continued to talk. Others asking questions now and then, but it wasn’t long until she was bowing as she left. When we were all alone, Xavier immediately took charge. 

“I know we are all lost. I think it best that we introduce ourselves,” Xavier said. 

“Goddamn, Charles, can’t you shut up for a little bit?” The large man I didn’t recognize said. He was as tall as Colossus, but to my surprise, even more muscular. Shaved head, he barely had a neck with how roided out he was. Every muscle and vein in his body practically showing. I could feel he had one of the highest spiritual energies in the building. 

“Cain, there is no need for that,” Charles said to the stranger. Colossus set him down in a chair. “I will start. I am Charles Xavier. I run a school for gifted youths. Though normally I would not be so candor, I feel we are in a very uncanny situation.” He looked around to everyone in the room. “I believe it best that you all understand that I myself am a mutant. Along with some of my associates. We work with the American government.” He did not offer other identities, leaving it up to the members of the X-men to decide if they wanted to oust themselves. They hesitated. 

“Heyo, I’m Weston,” I said, drawing all eyes. “Your reluctant but the obvious leader of our ragtag group of fighters for…justice or whatever. I’m not a mutant, which ya know, I’m not upset about. Like at all. If God doesn’t want to grant me sweet powers, that’s cool I guess. Either way, I was involved in a freak game of Donkey Kong. The damn gorilla donkey thing threw a barrel at me, and now I have weird powers. Disney is considering picking up my story for their new channel, so fingers crossed on that. Either way, it’s good to get my face out into the universe. Do you think this will be broadcast all over the galaxy?” I asked Anne the last part, she blushed, opening her mouth then closing it.

“Goddamn, you’re weird,” Gwen said, chuckling. “Gwen Stacy.”

“P-Peter Parker.” 

“Jessica Jones,” the brunette said, raising her hand as well.

“They have weird powers too. But I’m pretty sure they are not mutants,” I pointed out for them.

“What the hell?” Gwen asked. “Do you just go around telling everyone’s secrets?” She was legitimately offended. I frowned, reflecting her feelings.

“Am I the only one awake right now?” I asked, mirroring her facial expression of disgust. “They literally said they picked the STRONGEST people in the area. Or did I assume that? I don’t remember. Either way, you look like you have to brace yourself against a strong gust of wind, Jessica looks like the biker gang cheerleader captain.” Though it was the middle of the night on Earth, she was wearing a black leather vest, a skimpy tank top and tight jeans. “and Peter looks like he knows what toilet water tastes like.”

“Hey,” Peter said, but didn’t deny it.

“Like it or not, we are going to be fighting for our lives in a few days. I would prefer to know that everyone here might be able to take care of themselves,” I said. “Forfeiting sounds like a bad option, but we can all agree it’s probably better than death. So, get your head out of your ass, Gwen. Ignore the whole secret powers thing, and let’s move on.” 

Gwen rolled her eyes, but huffed. “Sorry, yes, I have powers.”

“I’m uh Lyra Talbot,” Lyra said, raising her hand. “I can…get stronger?” She looked over to me, I gave her a thumbs up. That was good enough for me. 

“I am Magneto,” the man in purple said. His haki said he was actually intrigued by all of this. “I am the leader of Genosha, as well our sacred organization, the Brotherhood of Mutants.”

“Oh great,” Reed Richards mumbled. He was a young guy, perhaps mid-twenties with dark hair. All eyes went to him. The man opened his mouth, having not realized he spoke. A few hakis spiking with anger, he was saved as the beautiful blonde next to him swooped in. 

“I’m Susan Storm,” she said. “This is Reed Richards, my brother Johnny, and this strapping man is Ben Grimm.” Though no one had said anything, Ben Grimm was obviously not normal. His skin was covered in rocks, and he looked like a very dried out yellow turd to me. I didn’t say that of course since he was eight feet tall. Far different than when I had seen him last, the rock man looked about like I had expected. I wondered if there was a way to save him from the fate of being all rocks, but wasn’t about to waste a non-existent Weakness Eliminator on him. 

“A few months ago we were changed as well,” Susan said. Beside her, Johnny Storm was about what I expected. Not so much the Chris Evans version, but more of a weaker Timothy Chalamet version, he was handsome but didn’t feel too strong. I knew in the comics he could turn into a flamer, but was curious how much control they had over their powers. Reed Richards was a worse version of Luffy, able to stretch his body; he was pretty lame in my book. Susan should have been the Invisible Woman as well, though not near as perfect as my Invisible Girl in MHA.  

“I am the ever warranted, never found, Black Tom Cassidy,” the magician looking man said. He had black hair waved to the side, a thick black mustache, and goatee. He wore a black tuxedo jacket with a bright green shirt underneath. If he had a top hat, I would have sworn he was a magician. “This is my ever faithful, never down associate, Cain Marko.”

“They know who I am,” the man growled. He looked like a steroid freak, but the name reminded me of who he was. The Juggernaut. An impossibly strong man that could hardly be beaten because of how strong he was, I was surprised I didn’t recognize him before. Though he wasn’t in his bullet reminiscent armor, he really did look like a muscular thumb because of how thick his neck was. “Can’t believe I got dragged into your drama again, cousin.” He eyed Professor Xavier. 

“Marko, I had heard you were in South America,” X said. I slowly remembered that they were supposed to be related somehow, but I had thought they were half-brothers, not cousins. 

“I was in the area for a job,” Cain said. “So how are we going to bust out of this place?”

“Actually, I think we should gain some history first,” Xavier said, pointing at the blond man standing to the side of the room. He hadn’t been paying much attention as we talked. Not wearing manacles or anything to distinguish him as a prisoner I wondered how much crap we were in if he was going to call some ancient rite to not have to stand trial. 

“Mr. Car-Ell, is it?” Jean asked. She slowly walked closer to him, her hands up, trying to get his attention. “Hello? Would you mind telling us why exactly we are here?” 

“I-I don’t know,” Car-Ell said truthfully. He had some tears in his eyes. “I-I have no idea who you people are. I’m a Kree.” 

“Uh, yeah, that’s cool and all, what is a Kree exactly?” Johnny Storm asked. 

“It’s a…” He looked over our large group. Slowly coming out of his own thoughts. “Your people know nothing of the Kree or Shi’ar?” We shook our heads. He let out a long sigh and began. “We Kree span many systems in the galaxy. Numbering in the tens of billions for population. Due to the vast holdings, we have a group called the Starforce that patrol our planets. I am part of the Starforce. The Shi’ar used to be far more militaristic and have always threatened the Kree. The Shi’ar empire spans thousands of worlds and species and are always trying to take more territory. I was on a mission to investigate a recent attack on a planet. On the way I was attacked by a Shi’ar ship. I defended myself and unfortunately they were not as well-equipped as I assumed. Their ship was severely damaged and destroyed. After I helped the Kree citizens I was mandated here to answer for defending myself.” 

He took a deep breath, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe this was happening. “I had thought that declaring Arin’n Haelar was my best choice to get my people here in time. The Shi’ar teleportation is very advanced, but only used on such holy events. But they say I am a human?” He asked the room. 

“I mean, you look human,” I said. “Do Kree look like you?”

“Some,” he said with a nod. “The majority have blue skin, yes, but my father said I was a Kree.” He looked lost, and to be honest, I was too. The only aliens in Marvel I could remember were the Brood…and Asgardians, and maybe the Skrulls. That was it though. All the names were kind of lost on me. I had no idea who this Car-Ell guy was.

“Well great history lesson,” I said. “I could use some alien cuisine. Anyone else for a look around the planet?”

“Weston, we need to stay here,” Cyclops said. Xavier frowned, eyeing me. 

“Why should we stay here?” I asked, confused. “What if this is all a trap and they have us sequestered to this beautiful jail cell to blow us all up at once?”

“The Shi’ar would never harm the sanctity of Arin’n Haelar,” Car-Ell said. 

“See, we will be fine. Besides, there might be a library we could look into. He said these guys have a lot of different planets and species. Maybe we could get clues to where Earth is,” I said.

“He is right,” Magneto said. “Scarlet, Quick, let’s go check out the surrounding area. We need to find our way home before we think of escape.”

“It’s settled,” I said with a clap. “Let’s all do a buddy system. Split up the cash the old Harvey Birdman gave us, and regroup after we know a little more. X, you can dig through Car-Ell’s mind there and try to figure out if he has some repressed memories or sexual tendencies. You know, to make sure we are safe to stay here with him. He is a criminal that kills innocent Shi’ar and all.”

“They were not innocent,” Car-Ell said.

“That’s what they all say,” I shot back and he frowned. More than a little distraught. “Wait, homeless guy? You got a name?” The only silent one in our group, he looked worse for wear. About 5 foot 10 inches tall he had long black and gray hair that belonged on a mop. All over the place and dirty, he had stains on his skin, brown clothes that were in tatters, and not much for hygiene. He eyed me, but didn’t say anything. Turning around he walked away. “Good talk, try not to piss in the corners,” I said and looked at Anne and the others around me. 

“Field trip?” I asked, perking up.