Vaudevillain

Chapter 197: Road Rage

Cass tossed the first grenade out the window, the weapon bouncing on the ground for a second before exploding in a cloud of alcohol. Not one to be outdone, G.W. quickly whipped up a tornado, sending the cloud away from Riptide's car and toward the racers behind. Jack promptly swerved out of the way, letting the debilitating tornado pass by harmlessly. The alcohol dispersed a moment later, Oro and the skateboard racer gaining on the pack.

The clown car was hot on their heels, the racer's slingshot maneuver giving it the speed needed to catch up. Horns honked annoyingly as it passed the skateboarder, coming in hot as the racers went to the next turn. Dr. Zlo and Riptide looked back at the same time, coming to the same conclusion.

"I'm not letting some clown car pass me!" Dr. Zlo shouted.

The villain slammed his fist down on another button, maneuvering the Zlomobile in front of the clown car. The Zlomobile's trunk opened, a spindly contraption unfolding like a flower in bloom. White gloved hands stretched long fingers, shaking themselves loose before reaching down to grab a small cube.

"Fire the Jacques!" Dr. Zlo commanded.

The hands wound back, throwing three cubes in succession at the clown car. As the cubes traveled, they expanded outward, forming a torso, arms, then legs. Finally, a masked head popped out of the torso, a Jacques shaking its head as it spawned into the world. The minion looked down as it flew, readying itself to land on the clown car.

The Jacques slammed onto the hood of the clown racer, tipping their hats in greeting as they crawled on the chassis. Three clowns emerged from the vehicle's interior, cracking knuckles and necks as they prepared for a fight on the car. The Jacques postured as well, banging their fists together intimidatingly. The clowns responded in kind, starting a battle of showmanship with the Jacques on top of the car. Knuckles cracked, chins jutted out, and heads shook as the two forces tried to intimidate each other.

At the same time, Riptide surfed to the outside, jumping into the driver's seat while G.W. charged a tornado in the passenger seat. The minion whipped the whirlwind out a moment later, turning back to buffet the Zlomobile as they drove. The tornado looped toward the clown car, forcing the racer to swerve out of the way at the last second to avoid the attack. Both the clowns and Jacques were thrown off the vehicle, the tornado sucking them in and launching them to the sky.

Jack took advantage of the two villain's movements to stop the clown car. The player shifted gears, accelerating to slip between them by a hair's breadth. Jack caught up with Sweet Dream a moment later, decelerating to prepare for the incoming turn.

Dr. Zlo growled in frustration as Jack passed him up, "Cass, do something about these racers while I focus on driving."

The villain pulled his hand off the laser trigger, letting Cass grab onto it.

"Right, boss," the butler answered.

Cass aimed down the sights on the windshield, keeping Sweet Dream in his view as they took the first turn. The villainess had slowed down in order to take the turns better, giving Cass a window to fire. The butler took the shot, two lances of red shooting out to strike the car ahead. The lasers impacted against Sweet Dream's rear chassis, melting some of the candy holding the machine together.

The shot also bumped Sweet Dream to the side, making an opening for Jack. The player took their chance, weaving inside and attempting to break away.

"Oh no you don't!" Sweet Dream shouted. "B.B.!"

An Easter bunny jumped from the back of the car, tossing a smattering of chocolate eggs at Jack. The confections exploded around Jack's racer, forcing the woman to slow down or risk crashing. A laser from Dr. Zlo followed, the red energy glancing off Jack's spoiler.

"We're gaining on them!" Dr. Zlo cheered, pressing his foot on the brake pedal for a quick turn.

The pack was in the first series of turns now. A group of carousel turns that forced the cars to brake and accelerate constantly. However, this wasn't a problem for three of the racers. Riptide knew his power would let him surf around with minimal loss to speed, which should put him ahead of the others. The skateboard hero had the same idea, knowing that he could perform tricks around the turns to keep his momentum. The racer in the clown car prepared himself, getting a series of clowns ready outside the vehicle for another slingshot turn.

Dr. Zlo saw these movements as he glanced at his mirrors. "Blast. It seems we'll need to get Quartet ready early," he complained.

The villain opened up his communicator, "Quartet, get ready with our second trap soon. A few of the racers are about to break away from the pack, and I can't let them escape!"

"Right, boss," Quartet answered back.

"Don't let me down," Dr. Zlo threatened. "You don't want to know what would happen if you do."

"I'd never do that, boss," Quartet answered as innocently as he could. Inwardly the minion was shaking, the minion imagining all the terrible things Dr. Zlo might subject him to if he failed.

Quartet turned to the others waiting with him, "Alright. We need to get ready soon! It seems like a group is about to break away from the pack!"

"You got it," Bart answered, revving the engine on his new truck. His two friends cheered along with him, each in their own modified car. A smaller pack of Jacques, each one on a motorcycle, threw their hands up in solidarity. Bart and the others had made a set of leather jackets for the minions to get them into the spirit of things. Now, the minions looked apocalyptic with their spiked jackets, matching Fleshgrabber, Leatherface, and Bart.

The racers arrived at the first carousel turn together, Riptide, the skateboarder, and the clown car all preparing their tricks. Riptide went first, moving to the outside and surfing the concrete barrier for the turn. The racer rocketed forward, G.W. making sure they stayed inside the car with his wind powers. The skateboarder followed behind, grinding on the barriers and performing flips over buildings to keep his speed. It wasn't as fast as Riptide, but it still put him ahead of the rest. The clown car followed behind, the line of clowns grabbing a nearby pole to sling past the other racers.

"Cass, try to aim at the clowns if you get the chance," Dr. Zlo commanded. "I'm not letting that farce of a vehicle get too far ahead of me."

"No more clowning around. Got it, boss," Cass answered.

Dr. Zlo scowled at his minion, almost taking out his cane to brain the butler, "Don't make puns at my expense, Cass."

"Right, boss. Sorry, boss."

Dr. Zlo moved to the outside, taking the apex of the turn right behind Jack. Sweet Dream still performed her maneuver from earlier, getting Jawbreaker to turn her on a dime. It lost her a little speed, but much less than what Jack and Dr. Zlo lost. A flash of gold whipped by Dr. Zlo, startling the villain. He looked out of his mirror to see Oro right behind him, the hero's disintegration cannons active and firing. The attack splashed uselessly over Dr. Zlo's forcefield, but it did drain the battery.

"Cass, how many more shots can we take from that cannon?" the villain asked.

Cass looked over the diagnostics, "Fifty to one hundred depending on battery use!"

"Right," Dr. Zlo said. "Let's give our heroic friend a few more things to worry about."

Dr. Zlo started up the Jacques-a-pult once more, sending two Jacques at Oro as they took the straightaway. The two minions crashed onto Oro's hood, tipping their hats in greeting as they jumped into the convertible. Oro was forced to focus on hand-to-hand combat for a moment, slowing down enough for Valiant and the coffin car to pass.

"Ah, my nemesis has arrived," Dr. Zlo commented as Valiant moved behind him.

"Should I try to take him out, boss?" Cass asked as he readied the Jacques-a-pult.

"No," Dr. Zlo said, laying a hand on the firing mechanism. "We can't have our greatest foe out of the race just yet. There's an order to these things. Focus on the clown car."

"Right," Cass answered, turning back to the lasers.

The clown car was ahead of them on the straightaway and preparing another slingshot turn. Dr. Zlo moved out from behind Jack as the clowns neared the turn, giving Cass a clear shot. The butler pulled the trigger, sending two lasers blasting toward the streetlight ahead. The attack struck the lights just as the clowns grabbed it, snapping the pole in two and sending the clown car spinning out!

The annoying honking continued for a moment before the car crashed into one of the barriers, all its momentum halted from Dr. Zlo's attack. The racers passed by on their turns, Dr. Zlo tipping his hat as he passed. The clown at the wheel slammed his fist down, assaulting the others with their horn. Valiant fired a disintegration beam at the racer, only for another clown to jump in front and take the blow. The clown car got back into the race behind Oro, its engines purring as they tried to pick up speed again.

"That's what you get for getting ahead of me," Dr. Zlo said. "Now, for the rest of them."

Dr. Zlo stuck behind Jack, coming out of the last turn on the straightaway toward the skyscraper. Riptide and the skateboarder were far ahead, Sweet Dream trying to gain on them with her candy machine. Jack suddenly blasted forward, her car's exhaust spewing blue flame as she activated a booster. Dr. Zlo tried to follow in the slipstream, but the Zlomobile fell away.

"No matter," Dr. Zlo said. "They'll have something new to contend with soon."

Instead, the villain focused on the racers behind him, doing his best to cut off Valiant as the hero tried to move forward. Both cars juked left, right, then left again as Dr. Zlo kept the racer behind him. The hero attempted a few shots with his power but found Dr. Zlo's forcefield to be stronger than expected. His attacks landed uselessly, slowly depleting the hero's stored energy.

"Two more turns until the skyscraper," Cass informed. Dr. Zlo glanced over at the map given to him by the racing committee. In this case, the map Dr. Zlo, Dextra, and Jack had made while decided on the track. The villain wasn't technically supposed to have the map, but Dylan knew Dr. Zlo would cheat and take it if he could.

"Quartet will be up ahead soon," Dr. Zlo commented. "Let's hope he does a good enough job."