Vaudevillain

As Easy As... (15)

Dylan opened up his inventory, pulling out all the items he needed to make a Zlobot. The player made it a habit of carrying around the materials after one too many close escapes. A Zlobot made sure any pursuing heroes (or villains) had to make an informed decision. A minute later, Dr. Zlo had a double standing next to him, the robot looking around the room studiously.

"I see my genius is required!" the Zlobot announced.

"I need you to make an escape with our formula here," Dr. Zlo said, handing a bottle over. "It is a vital piece of the plan, and If the heroes get their hands on it, all our plans will go up in smoke!"

Dylan had long since learned that his Zlobots needed sufficient motivation to perform their tasks. Otherwise, the robots would go and do their own thing. Tasking the droid with protecting a vital component in their plan was the perfect excuse. The Zlobot would attract all the attention while Dr. Zlo made a quick escape.

There wasn't a chance the Zlobot would run off quietly either. Dr. Zlo knew his alter egos would have to steal the spotlight. If only to prove they were superior. It was a qualm Dylan didn't have to worry about, considering he wasn't bound by rules of programming or logic.

The Zlobot sniffed with an air of self-importance that could curdle milk, "It seems I must do everything."

With those words, the Zlobot marched over to the surrounding Licor-Icks, "Well, don't just stand there! Get over here and help me!"

Sweet Dream's minions hopped to it, making a beeline toward the Zlobot. The villainess frowned, not happy that an NPC decided to command her minions. The Licor-Icks weren't good for anything, but she liked her more specific minions. So before Jawbreaker and the others could reach the Zlobot, Sweet Dream pulled him away.

"Not you guys. We'll need your help to escape."

"Yeah, dudes," Riptide said, staring out a window. "Looks like we don't have much time."

The surfer started across the street, Psy-Ops and his team making a rush for the warehouse.

"They're coming, dudes!" the surfer shouted.

"Get that formula out of here!" Dr. Zlo shouted.

The villain rushed to the other side of the warehouse, Sweet Dream and Riptide not far behind. The other minions, minus the Licor-Icks, fell in line behind the trio. The Zlobot turned to the doors, ushering the Licor-Icks in front. While he did that, Riptide and Dr. Zlo started cutting into the warehouse's side with their respective lasers.

Sweet Dream ordered Jawbreaker to help out, the minion stepping forward and tearing the wall off once the lasers finished their work. From there, everyone sneaked out of the warehouse, but not before Dr. Zlo gave the Zlobot one last look.

The villain's creation had decided on a similar method of escape but made sure to face the side Psy-Ops would enter. As the laser ate through the warehouse siding, the Licor-Icks worked on reinforcing the door. A few of the Licor-Icks slammed up against the door, their candy arms bulging as they pushed.

Outside, Psy-Ops used his power, watching the recording of Dr. Zlo entering the warehouse.

"That one," he pointed. "He ran in there."

"Want me to blow it all up?" Yuppie asked, the player's armor spawning a line of missiles. He wanted a bit of revenge against Dr. Zlo's dirty tricks.

"Can you do it without causing collateral damage?" Fursation asked. "Missiles tend to cause a lot of blowback."

Yuppie sighed, "Fine. I wouldn't want to get branded as a villain."

"Don't worry," Psy-Ops said, looking behind him. "I don't think we'll have to worry about Dr. Zlo for much longer."

The others turned to see The Imp flying straight toward the warehouse, drool falling from the NPC's mouth. "Cookies!" The Imp shouted.

The poor Licor-Icks didn't stand a chance. As soon as The Imp reached the double doors, they waved their hand. The door sprouted arms and legs, picking itself up and walking away, leaving the warehouse wide open. The Imp barrelled inside, knocking over the first line of defense and revealing the escaping Zlobot.

"Dad!" The Imp shouted. "I need more cookies!"

The Zlobot turned, flabbergasted, "What did you just call me?! I am no one's dad! I am Dr. Zlo! Criminal mastermind!"

The Imp countered, "Nu-uh!"

The Zlobot stamped a foot, "Yes-huh! I do not sire children. Especially brats like you!" The droid turned back to the wall where it was making an escape. Psy-Ops watched in amusement as the villain crouched down, extending a lanky leg over the lip in the destroyed warehouse wall.

The Imp ignored the robot's protests, charging straight at the Zlobot and knocking him down in a tackle. "Get me cookies!" The NPC demanded.

"I will not!" The Zlobot shouted. "I am a criminal mastermind! Not some butler to a tiny me!"

"Do it!" The Imp shouted, grabbing the Zlobot by its collar.

"Should we get involved?" Yuppie asked. "For the reputation," the man elaborated after looks from his friends.

"No, I'd rather watch," Fursation answered. "If we get a good recording, we can put it online."

Yuppie shrugged, "Suit yourself." The player was perfectly fine with watching Dr. Zlo's humiliation.

Psy-Ops, unlike his friends, kept his eyes peeled. Sweet Dream and Riptide hadn't shown themselves, and they weren't the type to ignore something like this.

It didn't occur to the hero that Dr. Zlo and his companions had already fled the scene. After all, why would he? The Zlobot looked exactly like the titular character, and the absurdity of the situation masked the robot's more limited vocabulary.

Thus, Psy-Ops watched as The Imp grabbed the Zlobot by the collar and shook him faster than a child should be able. Incensed, the Zlobot retaliated, firing a laser straight from its eye. Red light smacked The Imp on the center of their forehead, spinning them backward.

The reality warper flipped once, twice, three times in the air before coming to a halt with a teary face.

"You, hit me!" The Imp sniffled. "You're not supposed to hit me!"

"Why shouldn't I hit you! You wretch!" The Zlobot shouted, oblivious to the buildup of power from The Imp. The robot continued to make its escape, attempting to turn and flee into the skies. But before the droid could activate its internal rocket boots, The Imp waved a hand.

"Dads, don't, hit!" the reality warper shouted. A wave of power blasted from the NPC, turning the pavement into an earthen tsunami. Psy-Ops and his friends quickly took to the skies, avoiding the attack just in time.

The Zlobot wasn't so lucky. The earth wall had struck its feet just as it tried to take off, sending the robot flying straight forward. Not up, as they intended. The Zlobot found itself smacking straight into the building next to the warehouse. Solid brick and steel met in a clash, and something inside the robot rattled.

"I-I-I--" the Zlobot started before a loose brick dented its cranium. The attack was too much for the robot, and the Zlobot slumped, its internals falling offline.

The Imp suddenly halted, "Dad?"

The Zlobot's response was to clatter on the ground, its head sporting a significant dent.

The Imp rushed down from their perch atop the wave, "No! Dad!"

Psy-Ops and the others watched as the reality warper swooped down to cradle the Zlobot in their arms. It might have been an angelic scene -- what with The Imp's cherubic looks and all -- if not for the two's attire. At best, the scene looked second-rate. As if an amateur artist got ahold of a thrift store painting and decided to muck about.

"Wait a minute," Yuppie said. "That body's not vanishing."

Psy-Ops realized what that meant, "Oh, d*mn it! He got us."

Yuppie groaned, "I can't believe we fell for a robot copy of all things."

"Doesn't seem like the kid super realizes, though," Fursation pointed out.

Yuppie and Psy-Ops turned back to look, surprised. Sure enough, The Imp was crying over the Zlobot, mumbling incoherent words about needing a dad. The heroes decided it would be better to ignore the NPC for now in favor of searching for Dr. Zlo. The group flew off into the distance.

"Dudes!" Riptide shouted a few days later. "You have got to check this out!"

Dylan and Jack turned to look at their friend walking into the room, Sweet Dream following behind.

"What?" Dylan asked.

Riptide thrust the screen in front of Dylan's face. On it was a news image of The Imp, dressed like red licorice and running around with a bag of cookies. Behind him stood Sweet Dream's Licor-Icks from their crime in Sleepless City. The row of minions looked much stronger than before, their bodies twistier and brawnier. Nothing at all like the thin Licor-Icks Sweet Dream toted.

"Wait, is that The Imp?" Dylan asked.

"Yeah dude!" Riptide said with a beaming smile. "The guy imprinted like you said! But he did it on Dream's minions! They've been running around the cities stealing licorice from every candy store!"

"That's ridiculous," Jack laughed. "How did you get that to happen?"

"One of the quests we got in the city bonded the menace to us," Sweet Dream elaborated. "It thought Dr. Zlo was its father because he was the first one the NPC saw after its last father's death. To get rid of it, Dr. Zlo used a Zlobot, tricking the thing."

"I guess the next thing it saw was a Licor-Ick," Dylan mused.

"It's awesome!" Riptide laughed.

"I wonder why Vert hasn't fixed it yet," Jack mused.

In truth, Vert hadn't fixed the questline because people didn't like it. No one wanted a whiny child to follow them along, demanding items and throwing tantrums when it didn't get its way. Not unless the reward was worth it. Therefore, the company decided to shunt any non-essential to the bottom of ticket queues.

Thus, Vert's decision allowed The Imp to rampage a bit more, and it became a point of personal pride for a few heroes and villains to try and stop the reality warper. Dr. Zlo, however, wanted nothing to do with The Imp ever again. One meeting with the reality warper had been one meeting too many.