The Red Hand

Chapter 221.5 – A Magical Girl, A Body Bag and Hiding the Evidence.

Bluedog:

ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, I'LL SEE YOU IN KYOTO! #bouttoclaimmymagicalwaifu

Minazawa:

Wee-woo Wee-woo Wee-woo

Blackbox:

That's him, officer.

Bluedog:

I swear it's not what she looks like! She's like 200 years old! Probably...

Superbia:

FBI! OPEN UP!

Bluedog:

NOOOOOOOO! I JUST WANTED MY WAIFU!

Minazawa:

Don't you already have a girlfriend?

Bluedog:

Not if I can get me a magical one. ; ) 

Mera please don't kill me

Superbia:

Mina, his house, five minutes. I'll bring the body bag.

Minazawa:

I know just the place to dump him!

Bluedog:

HELP POLICE!

Minazawa:

We are the police, and we're going to send you to the place where lolicons like you deserve to go

Eris:

Why the fuck am I seeing footage of a Magical Girl in Kyoto? Did @Hishya decide to cosplay?

Hishya:

I have no idea what's going on, and right now, I'm too busy to care...

Minazawa:

Is this Akagi's doing?

Superbia:

If anyone can make a Magical Girl, it's her...

Blackbox:

Maybe it is Akagi! She strikes me as a Magical Girl enjoyer ;)

Hishya:

Nah it has no cat parts, so it's not our resident floof.

Bluedog:

OH GOD, CAT MAGICAL GIRL! I NEEDS IT! #catgirlsarejustice

Superbia:

@Minazawa, so about that dumping location.

Bluedog:

I WANT TO LIVE!

Minazawa:

Well, if it's not Akagi or Hishya, then who the fuck is it?

Mixu:

Maybe it's a real Magical Girl?

Superbia:

Don't be ridiculous! Magical Girls don't exist.

Minazawa:

Said the Oni to the Vampire

Superbia:

...

Tsuchimi:

GUYS DID YOU SEE THE MAGICAL GIRL?!? SHE'S SO CUTE!

Mixu:

Did you even read the other messages?

Tsuchimi:

No...

Sagara:

She was so excited that she just posted without taking a few seconds to check...

Eris:

Yeah, that's Tsuchi for ya.

Tsuchimi:

What's that name? Don't call me that!

Superbia:

Tsuchi, are you mad?

Minazawa:

Yeah, Tsuchi. Don't you like it? It's cute?

Sagara:

Tsuchi is currently beat red as she sits next to me yelling about how you are all mean.

Tsuchimi:

MEAN!

Sagara:

And she just hit me! XD

Eris:

Maybe Tsuchi is the Magical Girl?

Superbia:

Nah, she couldn't pull off that dress.

Minazawa:

If it really is one of us, I'd like to know what the hell they're thinking...

Eris:

They probably just wanted to mess about, and if they aren't hurting anyone then just let them have fun. God knows some of us have gotten a raw end of this whole deal.

Bluedog:

I wonder if she'd let me be her sidekick?

Blackbox:

Maybe you could be her pet?

Bluedog:

I'd be down for that ;)

Kaori:

@Bluedog, you do remember that last time you tried this stuff in FWO right? Even the NPCs beat you up...

Bluedog:

I regret nothing!

Kaori

@Minazawa @Superbia, let me know when the two of you want to eliminate this massive perv. I'll help you do the dirty deed.

Bluedog:

NO! I THOUGHT YOU WERE NICE! WHY IS SWEET BLOSSUM GOING SOUR?!?

Kaori:

*Stares at you with disgust*

Bluedog:

OH YES! MORE PLEASE! GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!

Hishya:

Do I need to put you in horny jail, @Bluedog?

Bluedog:

HAHAHA! I WAS BORN IN HORNY JAIL! YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!

Minazawa:

Hey, @Hishya. Bluedog's address is [redacted] meet us there, and we'll show that idiot some real pain.

Bluedog:

HEY! Don't dox me!

Hishya:

Criminals get no protection

Excelsior:

If you guys wind up killing him, just please do me a favor and make it as painful as possible. I recommend putting him in the woodchipper feet first.

Minazawa:

We could get @Akagi to put him in with Armalthy.

Superbia:

Oh great, you summoned it...

Akagi:

Whom'st has summoned the almighty one?!?

Hishya:

Aren't you in a meeting?!?

Akagi:

Doesn't mean I can't text XD

Bluedog:

@Akagi If I pledge my eternal loyalty to you, do you think I could get me a cat waifu? I know you've got a few up there

Akagi:

Sure, but you might end up being torn to shreds by said kitty. Ondai women are notoriously feisty ;)

Bluedog:

EEP! I'd like to keep my manhood, thanks...

Minazawa:

Oh yeah, that reminds me, isn't one of your clansmen dating Shimari?

Akagi:

I think Nemino is, yeah.

Hishya:

Wait! When did this happen?!?

Akagi:

Like last week. He asked her out. I guess he found the puppy cute.

Minazawa:

I guess Akagi is using her people to 'conquer' the rest of the returnees.

Akagi:

It's like that one Sim I played back in the day. What you can't win through military force, you get via marriage XD.

Hishya:

Akagi told me once how she just had her character go around and produce all kinds of children just to take people's thrones in that game.

Akagi:

I also ruthlessly used Eugenics to make Gorgeous Genius Children! SELECTIVE BREEDING FTW!

Superbia:

That sounds like an interesting game...

Excelsior:

@Akagi Do you mean Crusaders IV? That game was amazing!

Akagi:

YEP! It's an oldey, but damn is it good! I actually played some the other day! I installed an Anti-Pope via totally legitimate elections.

Excelsior:

I always liked playing as a Viking and just raiding all of Europe to the ground. I even sacrificed the Pope to Odin one game

Hishya:

AREN'T YOU A CATHOLIC?!?

Excelsior:

In game, I was a devotee of Odin and he called for blood. I had no choice, they were trying to convert my people to heathenism!

Minazawa:

I wonder what would happen if I told the Father of his Church what he plays.

Excelsior:

Father Kobayashi played that game back in the day himself. He found it funny and told me about the secret path where you create the Anti-Christ.

Akagi:

Always nice to kill people and send their souls to Satan. *Sips Grog as I sit on my skull throne*

Hishya:

Why do I have a feeling that Akagi might do just that IRL?

Superbia:

She might have already done so. Akagi does have a Demon Cult under her.

Minazawa:

Who knows, the Magical Girl might be Akagi's fucking Apostle

Bluedog:

If she is, then I will be joining the Church of Akagi.

Akagi:

I'm sure Misha will enjoy teaching you all the joys of being one of my worshipers. Just make sure you bring me good snacks for the potluck or I'll eat your soul.

Bluedog:

I don't mean to brag, but I can make toast without burning it. ;)

Akagi:

Guess I'll be eating good soon.

Bluedog:

You mean my toast right?

Akagi:

;)

Bluedog:

Right...

Bluedog:

Guys, I don't think she likes my toast...

Hishya:

You're already dead.

Bluedog:

WHAT?!?

Akagi:

MEW!

Kaori:

@Akagi Can I get some kitty snuggles later?

Hishya:

Kaori too...

Akagi:

MEW! Kitty snuggles are available from 7 pm-8 pm local time. Please be aware that we have a high demand for our snuggles, so there may be a wait.

Superbia:

I like how she just asked that out of the blue

Kaori:

I put in hard work today! Besides, Yumi, Miji, and Kana always hog her and I rarely get my turn *puffs cheeks*

Mixu:

@Hishya, how much do you pet the kitty on average?

Hishya:

I'm not answering that question.

Minazawa:

So, lots!

Superbia:

I wonder if Hishya pops out her tail and lets Akagi play with it?

Hishya:

Tail is for Kana only! NO CATS!

Akagi:

*Cries* Hishya doesn't like me guys... She rejects me snuggles... Mew~

Eris:

Hishya, pet the kitty! It needs love or it will die!

Hishya:

Then it can perish. *turns up nose*

Ayame:

Damn, Hishya be out here doing animal abuse. Foreshame.

Eris:

I bet she's a better pet than an owner anyway. XD

Hishya:

I know where you live Red-Head and I will come hit you!

Eris:

Save it for the tourney. I'll force-feed you dirt once we're in the arena.

Akagi:

It would be so funny if Hishya goes out round one.

Minazawa:

Yeah, it would be like that one manga I read where the strongest guys lose via ring-out.

Hishya:

At this point, I feel like I need to join just to beat you all to within an inch of your lives.

Akagi:

Whatever gets you in the ring. *Shrugs*

Mixu:

Too bad this kind of thing is the antithesis of my fighting style, so I'll sadly have to pass. Otherwise, it would be nice to take down my second dragon.

Daikael:

Guys did you hear the rumor that Alveron is actually the Magical Girl?!?

Hishya:

The fucking Rat?!? No way.

Minazawa:

My current money is on Ara. She's definitely crazy enough to do something like that

Superbia:

Nah, she was streaming at the time in question. I think she was doing some kind of puzzle game.

Akagi:

Yeah, and besides Ara only does Nyanspeak now. I doubt she could hold it together long enough for a Magical Girl cosplay.

Mixu:

@Daikael. Did you just make that up for content?

Daikael:

No...

Superbia:

She did...

Akagi:

It would be funny to see her have to do a Magical Girl thing while doing Nyanspeak.

Hishya:

Hearing her call you Nyankagi the other day sent me fucking reeling. So I'd love to see some Magical Girl transformation done with cat sound effects.

Akagi:

MEW!