Soul for a Girlfriend?

Moriko's POV

I still remember that day.

The first day of middle school after the spring break.

It was early spring, and the sun was shining brightly through the clouds. The surrounding air was fresh with the smell of flowers. A chilly breeze blew past me, which made my long black flutter.

'So spring was already starting.' Is what I thought at that moment. 

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I looked up towards the bright blue sky. I continued on my way towards school. The spring break finally came to an end. After all those nights in the abyss of my own thoughts, it was the time to face reality.

I remember being scared.

All of those thoughts and memories were finally coming to an end. Maybe I was scared of losing them. Maybe I was scared to face the reality.

In the past, I remained sulking over very common yet intricate questions.

I was just two words.

'What if?'

What if I lose everything I've held onto for so long? Though I knew contemplating over those trivial things was meaningless.

As usual, I was walking alone to school. I wasn't the most approachable person, so I had only a handful of friends. I wasn't an honours student, neither did I enjoy going to school. For me, it was more of a chore.

Though something was different about that day. I was looking forward to going to school after quite a while. 

I wonder what kind of face I was making at that moment. I could feel my heart pumping fast, and there was a strange sense of excitement coursing through my body. Just thinking about it was making me nervous.

After all, it was a big day for me. The moment of truth was waiting right at my doorstep. I've waited for this moment since the day our eyes met for the first time.

I remember not being able to focus on the classes that day because a lot of things were running wild in my mind. It was mostly the thoughts about what was going to happen.

The feeling of anticipation was something I couldn't put into words. My heart was racing, yet I had an unfazed look on my face. My mind was a mess, yet I wasn't saying anything. I was probably feeling a lot of emotions in that instant.

Nervousness.

Excitement.

Fear.

The moment I've been thinking about was finally right in front of my eyes. 

He was standing right before me. Just across the assembly ground, I could see his figure sitting on the pavement. He seemed to be immersed in his thoughts as his eyes were focused on the concrete ground.

I just needed to make my way to him.

Just a few steps.

He wasn't the best-looking guy. He was gloomy and preferred to be alone. Whenever I noticed him, I always found him on his own. Whether it was the playground or the cafeteria. It wasn't like he had no friends. He probably had more friends than me, yet he somehow managed to be alone most of the time.

There was something about him which attracted me.

His dark eyes weren't the brightest. Nor were they the warmest. To be honest, he was quite a cold person. Whenever he talked, it always felt like there was an invisible wall around him.

No one was allowed to step inside that wall. Yet, I found him smiling when he used to talk to me. A smile that only I had seen. A side of him, which only I was aware of.

Or that's what I liked to imagine at that moment.

I always used to admire him from a distance but never got the courage to talk with him. He wasn't a people person as he always had this serious look on his face which gave him quite a distant vibe.

One of my friends had a crush on him. But not wanting to confess to him in person, she decided it would be a good idea to use me as an intermediate between them. At that time, I didn't really have a voice of my own, so I never opposed ideas like this.

After all, they were my friends.

That was the first time I ever talked to him. To tell him that my friend had a crush on him. He seemed quite unfazed by this entire ordeal. I still remember the words that came out of his mouth when I said that.

"If she likes me, then I would've appreciated her confessing to me in person."

The fact which intrigued me was how cold his tone was. It was almost as if he was unaffected by such an event. Looking back, he probably did the right thing since my friend got pissed about his rejection and bitched about him a lot.

Though, from that point onwards, our interaction gradually increased. We would just meet each other on the way to our classes or something like in the library or cafeteria. He also seemed to be interested in me.

After all, the person who didn't talk with anyone was taking an interest in me. 

I felt validated.

It didn't take much time before we started talking a lot. He didn't talk much with me at school, but he was quite expressive while texting me. It was only when he used to talk a lot.

Slowly, I got to know him and started developing feelings towards him. My admiration started to change into infatuation. Every conversation we had started taking turns towards topics we never touched before.

I was getting eager to know him even more. He intrigued me in ways no one ever did.

We weren't close friends, but I felt a strange sort of connection towards him.

I was finally standing at the endgame.

I only needed to spout a few words. I just needed to confess my honest feelings to him. I was prepared for whatever the outcome was going to be, but in that moment, I just needed to get this burden off my chest.

It was getting difficult for me to be close with you, Sakamaki Saishi.