Chapter 190: An Endless Circle
Silence returned to the room as the window automatically shut itself when the time struck midnight, causing the room to become dimmer.
[You're still awake?]
the system asked Nolan, whose eyes slowly opened, a tired look appearing in them.
Nolan couldn't sleep.
He didn't know why, but he just couldn't force himself to sleep, no matter how hard he tried.
The reason was simple: it was because of Luna.
Now could he sleep peacefully, knowing there was someone going through monumental pain right beside him, slowly inching toward her death?
The death of the previous Nolan replayed constantly in his head, keeping him from sleeping peacefully.
[What's on your mind?]
the system asked and Nolan decided to open up to it.
'I can't sleep… because of her,' he replied.
[You mean Luna? Why?]
The system was confused.
Why would a strange girl he barely knew be the reason for his sleeplessness?
[Wait, is it because of her illness and the fact that she's slowly dying?] the system suddenly asked, and Nolan nodded.
'Yes.'
[Don't be ridiculous, Nolan. People die all the time!]
[And she's unimportant. If she weren't, the academy would've found a way to help cure her illness.]
[I'm pretty sure one of those Celestial Protectors or whatever would be able to help her.]
[There's no way there's no one capable of curing her curse.]
[But no none is willing to help her because she doesn't matter.]
[The only person to blame for that is her.]
[Why are you stressing over it? It's not like you're the one that cursed her, are you?]
[Don't give yourself headaches over nobodies. Just go to sleep.]
The system's response was completely unremorseful.
It couldn't be bothered by the death of some random girl. What did it have to do with him?
What it even found even more ridiculous was that Nolan cared at all.
But unbeknownst to the system, its words echoed endlessly in Nolan's mind.
---
[No one is willing to help her because she doesn't matter.]
[No one is willing to help her because she doesn't matter.]
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'Just like how no one was willing to help the previous Nolan either, because he didn't matter, huh?'
The academy could have intervened for the previous Nolan, stopped the relentless bullying.
The instructors could have stood up for him, ordered people not to torment him.
Maybe then, he wouldn't have been bullied to death by Quinn and his goons.
The previous Nolan had every reason to give up and end his pathetic life.
Yet, he had fought every day, trying to survive, sharpening his combat skills so that maybe one day he could stand up to the bullying.
He had trained hard. He had worked hard. But still nobody cared.
All because he didn't matter. In the end, he had been left to die.
Now, here was someone beside him who was also trying her best to live on and survive.
But the academy didn't care about her either.
The system was right!
There was no way the academy wouldn't have a cure for her.
But they had ignored her, just like they had ignored the previous Nolan too.
'Now I'm starting to realize a few things about this world.'
'It's like an endless cycle of people going about their lives, not caring at all for others.'
'No one cared for me in my previous life, and that's why I got myself into eternal slavery until death.'
'There were people who could have stood up for me.'
'he company wouldn't have died or been too affected if I didn't become a coal miner.'
'But nobody cared.'
'The company boss could have told me to stop, and all my debts would've been covered.'
'But they couldn't care less, and I was condemned to slavery.'
'But even as I lay dying in my previous life, I felt a sense of purpose when I saved the poor beggar's life.'
'His paralyzed son was healed, and his daughter was able to give birth bringing another soul into life that day.'
'No one but me cared about him.'
'Why should they?'
'He was just some random old beggar, but in the end, because I cared, he became a grandfather, and he got to live a better life—all because I cared!'
'The previous Nolan wouldn't have died if the academy had cared, or if anyone had stood up for him.'
'But no one did, and he died.'
'It's like an endless uncaring cycle, where people are losing their lives all because someone couldn't be bothered to spend just a fraction of time on the well-being of another person.'
'But I have the power.'
'I have the power to influence this cycle. I have the power to care! That is who I am.'
'Iam Nolan Gottschald.'
'I will care, no matter what the academy thinks or tries to impose on its students.'
'I will live this life by who I am, and I've decided to live it with no regrets!' Nolan determined in his mind, and with intense resolve, he rose from his bed.
[Hey! Nolan! Where are you going?] the system screamed out, but Nolan ignored it as he got up and walked toward Luna's bed.
Arriving before her, two of her six eyes opened, and she stared at him with a curious glance.
"What is wrong?" she asked.
From her tone, Nolan could swear she hadn't been sleeping because it wasn't the voice of someone in deep sleep.
It occurred to him that Luna probably wasn't really sleeping.
Unfortunately, it wasn't surprising. How could someone sleep with so much pain?
"Do you mind a hug?" he suddenly asked her and Luna remaining four eyes opened up and she gave Nolan an eyebrow raise.
"I only allowed you to touch me previously because I was unconscious, and needed help."
"Now I no longer need your help, so don't even think about it!!!" she warned seriously but Nolan only looked deeply into her eyes before whispering.
"You still need help, and I promised to help you take your pain away if it gets too uncomfortable right?"