Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 187 - 186 - High King's Game(Part 3)

Alright, I need to think of a good command to issue...hm, let me think...

"Uh...let's see here...how about...okay, here's my command, I order number six, number nine and number thirteen to each try and resist a command from me," I remarked with a smirk, "And don't say that's against the rules, since there are barely any rules to begin with."

No one could argue with that, so no one did...they were all too high to argue anyway. Six was Persia, nine was Rion and thirteen was Misen. I suggested going from lowest number to highest, mainly because I wanted to save Misen for last...it'll give me more time to think up a REALLY good command for him...

"So, um...what's my command?" Inquired Persia, going first.

"Hm...eh, I command you to, I dunno, pat my head or something," I remarked with a shrug.

"W-woah, my hand's moving on its own," She responded in surprise, as she began stroking my head.

"Hey, no fair, you're totally going easy on her!" Protested Selesa indignantly.

"I command you to shut up."

"...!"

She looks like she wants to say something...huh, I wonder what it could possibly be? Well, forget her, I'll focus on the headpats I was receiving...hm, it's pretty pleasant and feels nice, but I think I prefer to give headpats than receive them...

She stopped after a while, she had resisted the Cross after a few seconds but kept patting for a bit after that anyway. I have no reason to complain about that, so...moving on to Rion.

"Come on, bro, give me something good! I've been kinda bored so far, so-!"

"I-I'm so s-sorry, it's a-all my fault that y-you're bored," Cried Siert with a guilt-ridden expression.

"Dude, you need to chill...that's totes not what I meant. Anyway, what's my command!?"

"Uh, let me think for a sec...okay, try to resist this...I command you to hump the ground for eternity."

"Wait, wha-...," He began, before trailing off, laying down on the ground on his front and humping the ground vigorously.

Heh, that's pretty funny...now, then, for the main cours-.

"Yes! I finally broke free!" Exclaimed Selesa, with a triumphant expression...looking straight at me...what an idiot.

"I command you to shut up again."

"Damn it, you piss-guzzling cum-drizzling piece of-...!"

Oh, interesting, looks like this Cross was a bit less effective when used on the same person twice...it had taken about half a second longer to affect her this time.

"Hey, you could have given me a better command than that," Complained Rion, having broken free of the compulsion and stopped humping the ground...he was rubbing his hip with a groan, guess he hurt himself.

"Eh, I thought it was pretty funny," I replied with a shrug.

"Yo, I agree, that shit was hilarious!" Laughed Rex giddily...looks like he's properly stoned now.

"Anyway...," I stated, shifting my attention to Misen, who flinched a bit, "I still have one more person that I need to give a command to...what's the matter, Ragiu, you don't look so good."

"Heh, you totally sound like a villain," Remarked Rion with a chuckle.

"Says the former villain. Now, then...you ready, Ragiu? Or are you afraid, huh?"

"Tch, whatever, let's just get it over and done with," He sighed, trying to act cool but it was clear that he was more than a little scared.

"Alright, resist this, dickwad...I command you to keep punching yourself repeatedly in the face without knocking yourself out."

"Wha- oof!" He began with a look of alarm, before interrupting himself with a punch to the side of his face.

Mm, talk about satisfying. Let's see how long it takes for him to resist the effects of the command...

.

.

.

.

"Hey, uh...he's not stopping," Pointed out Azeria, after about twenty seconds had passed.

Misen's face was looking pretty swollen, but he was showing no signs of stopping. That's some pretty weak willpower, huh.

"Perhaps you should command him to stop," Suggested Ekai with a look of concern.

"I don't think there's any reason to rush, is there?" Argued Fuo, who was clearly enjoying this.

"Yeah, I like this! This is pretty exhilarating stuff," Remarked Gela with a lick of her lips.

Guess self-harm appeals to sadomasochism, who knew.

"Seriously? You've got some weird kinks, girl," Responded Selesa, before looking confused as everyone stared at her pointedly, "Huh? Why's everyone looking at me? What'd I say? S-stop, if you all keep staring at me like that, I'll...mm, don't stop, keep staring-...wait, why'd everyone stop staring!? You're all a bunch of supple-assed fuckable cum-drenched teases!"

Well, that escalated quickly...also, was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult..? I really couldn't tell. Meanwhile, Misen was still punching himself. Guess that should be enough.

"Alright, I command you to stop hitting yourself."

"Ahhhhh, my face!" He yelled with a slur, flecks of blood spraying out of his mouth, "That hurt! At least heal me!"

Hm, his face is pretty swollen, so I guess I could...

"Az, give him some ice."

"I don't need ice, I need to be healed-!"

"Well, moving on to round twelve!" I interrupted with an innocent smile, "Let's shuffle the scraps again."

"Hey-!"

Unfortunately, and fortunately for Misen, Ekai had a healing spell on him, so he managed to fix his face...too bad, I thought that was a good look for him. Anyway, the king for round twelve was Gela, and I was pretty wary of what her order might be...

"Hey, Birdbrain, no violent orders, got it? Or at least, nothing more violent than any of the previous orders," I said to her before she could say anything.

"What!? But that doesn't leave me with too many options though. Fine, in that case...how about this, number eight duels me right now!"

Crap...I'm number eight. Wait, if I use my full power, then I can end it in an instant.

"Alright, let's get this over with," I sighed, standing up and sobering myself up again, "Let's do this outside the dome."

"Oh, if it's you, then I won't have to hold back! But first, could you make me sober? I feel like all my senses are dulled right now."

Well, yeah, that's because they are.

"Sure, fine," I replied, entering Soul-Eater Mode and pricking her shoulder with my claws and sobering her up.

Az made an exit in the dome wall and we walked out of it.

"Someone give us a countdown from ten," I requested, before entering Vampire Mode.

Ooh, I'll do the countdown!" Volunteered Rion, "Ten, nine, eight, seven..."

"You're not holding back, are you?" Remarked Gela with a wary expression.

Oh, that's right, I've only transformed into Vampire God Mode while training alone, since I didn't want to risk injuring anyone while the powers of that form were still an unknown variable. But I had mastered it now, more or less, so I guess this is a good time as any to unveil it. I know I used this phrase recently, but what's the harm in using it again...

"Actually...this isn't even my final form," I replied with a smirk, as the countdown went below five.

I then transformed into my most powerful form...my fangs curved slightly, while my tail grew thicker and longer with spikes all over it, my claws turned black and grew out a bit more, curving slightly at the tips, and a crimson-red pattern appeared across my face, arms and torso...according to Lazarus, my body couldn't handle the amount of Blood Magic generated in this form, so he made it so that the excess Blood Magic would leak out and prevent it from overwhelming my body. This pattern was that excess Blood Magic.

Oh, and Blood Magic is actually just regular Dark Magic with the Vampiric element added to it...think of it this way, Dark Magic is water, and what makes it Blood Magic is flavor, like dipping a teabag in hot water. With most weaker monsters, their 'flavor' is too weak to modify their Dark Magic too much, and the majority can't use their Dark Magic as a weapon...attacks like the ice breath of Ice Wyverns isn't a manifestation of their Dark Magic, it's more like a physical ability. Anyway, let's get to this fight...

"...three, two, aaaaannnnddd...ONE!" Exclaimed Rion, signaling the start of the fight.

Before Gela could even move, I used Teleport to slip behind her, and as she spun around with a look of alarm, I flicked her forehead...and sent her flying back and crashing into the waterfall in this cove. Oops...I think I felt her skull crack a little bit. She walked out of the waterfall and back onto the grass with a dazed groan, her forehead bleeding.

"Forget it, I can't fight that...," She surrendered...huh, I guess with enough of a power gap, even she could be compelled to feel hopeless give up.

"Unbelievable...I have never seen so much power before," Fuo walked up to me- or I guess, it had to be Atticus.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, he and Lazarus hadn't communicated at all, mainly because they couldn't. While Atticus is constantly seeing and hearing everything that Fuo does even if he doesn't want to, and can be in control of her body if she lets him, Lazarus's situation was very different. He didn't share any of my five senses like Atticus and Fuo did, so he doesn't know what's going on around me at all times. And at most, the newest memories of mine that he can view are at least five seconds old.

In other words, the earliest he could know about something that happened to or around me was five seconds after it happens...unless I tell him what's happening as it's happening. Oh, and he'd have to be manually and constantly viewing my latest memories to know something like that, it's not like he'd automatically know when something happens. And since he's probably watching anime right now, or recovering from the shock of that one scene, he was almost definitely not watching my latest memories.

Anyway, we resumed the game soon after that. I decided to light up a final round of buds, since there were only three people left who hadn't been the king yet, this should end fairly soon. Round thirteen was next, and the king was...Az.

"I already know what I want...I order number one to do nothing. Next round."

Number one was Gela, who decided against refusing just because it was boring, probably because she was still dazed from my flick, and since she didn't protest, the rules prevented anyone else from trying to make Az give out a better command instead.

So, yeah...two rounds left. Round fourteen began, and the only two who had yet to draw the king scrap were Fuo and Persia...the two who'd been involved in the very first order. Fuo drew the king for round fourteen.

"Hm...oh, how about this, numbers two, eight and fourteen have to spend a minute fully encased in ice except for their heads," She suggested, looking at Az.

He glanced at the scrap he drew and let out a sigh of relief, before saying...

"I don't mind freezing them, but...why do I keep getting involved in so many rounds?" He sighed wistfully...well, to be fair, he'd been pretty busy even excluding the game, he'd had to maintain the dome to keep it from melting, and open it up every so often in order to let some air in.

Anyway, number two was Ekai, number eight was Rex and number twelve was Les. Az encased each of them in blocks of ice from their shoulders to their feet, and we began timing a minute...oh, yeah, we brought back the stopwatches that we got from Lagusa, and they were now in widespread use in the Rustlands.

"Th-this i-is s-s-so c-cold...," Shivered Rex, his face pale and his eyes drowsy, and he was yawning a lot...it had barely been ten seconds though...

"Hey, stop melting the ice, it's more work for me," Az said to Ekai.

"I c-cannot h-help it...i-it is s-so c-cold that I a-am p-producing h-heat w-without even t-trying to!"

Oh, looks like Rex was asleep...or is it more accurate to say that he's hibernating? The negative attributes of the animal that a person's Anima is based on usually won't be a worry, for instance, most animals have shorter lifespans than humans, but humans with Animas of those animals still have regular lifespans...but in Rex's case, he had like four or five Animas, so it's pretty feasible that his animal attributes were more prominent than the rest of us.

The ice around Ekai was definitely melting, but Az restored it every few seconds. Les seemed to be doing okay though, he was shivering a bit, but beyond that, showed no signs that he was having too much trouble with this.

"Hey, wait a sec...doesn't ice make guys' dicks smaller!? We need to stop this, I don't want my little bro to lose any inches-!" Began Selesa with a look of alarm.

"F-for o-once in y-your l-life...please shut up," Interrupted Les with a glare, his teeth chattering slightly.

"Wha-...hmph, fine, don't come crying to me if your jumbo sausage turns into a mini-wiener!"

"...that w-won't h-happen, and e-even if i-it d-did, I wouldn't d-do that!"

"Heh...the way you said 'do' with your teeth chattering sounds like you said 'do-do' instead."

"..."

Impressive, you could tell that he had experience dealing with her...the more your retort at her dumb remarks, the worse those remarks get, the best option was to just shut up and ignore her...that was easier said than done though.

Oh, the minute was almost up...Az shattered the ice as the timer reached sixty seconds, though Rex just slumped onto the ground, fast asleep. Selesa walked over to Les with a look of concern...though said look of concern was being directed at his crotch...she was staring pretty intensely at that spot.

"I need to check for shrinkage...this is a matter of health, little brother, do not resist."

"I will absolutely resist if you come any closer."

"B-but...this is serious! I don't know what I'd do if you lose even a millimeter of your five point nine inches-," She started indignantly, when he interrupted by grabbing onto the top of her head with a tight grip.

"H-how...how do you know that?" He inquired with a look of dread and horror on his face.

As for Selesa...her expression was one of someone who had said something she shouldn't have...

"K-know what?" She responded, trying to feign ignorance, but very, very unconvincingly.

Les then snapped out of it as he realized that everyone was staring intently at their argument...

"...we're going to need to have a long, LONG talk once we get back."

"O-okay."

Well...that was awkward. But thankfully, we soon moved past it and onto the final round of this king's game. There was no need to shuffle the king scrap, since the only one left who hadn't been king yet was Persia. Once we shuffled the numbered scraps and each picked one, she issued her order...

"Okay, how about this...number nine puts on a blindfold, and then, has to guess who numbers eleven and thirteen are by asking a maximum of five questions about each of them, which someone else will answer," She remarked, after mulling it over, "First, only number nine reveal who they are."

Hey, that's not bad.

"I'm number nine," Responded Key, raising her hand.

After we blindfolded her...

"Okay, now number eleven raise your right arm, and number thirteen raise your left arm."

Eleven turned out to be Rai, and thirteen was Selesa...she sure had been involved in a lot of rounds, or at least, it certainly felt that way. Because everytime she was involved, it felt like I was getting a headache.

"I'll answer the questions, since I'm the one who gave the order...limit the questions to those that can be answered with either a yes or a no, and you can't ask anything too specific, like nothing that would make it obvious who the person is. And even if you do ask a question that I can't answer, it'll still count as one of your five questions. Those are the only rules," Explained Persia, sitting next to Key, as Rai and Selesa sat in front of them.

Wait a sec...this sounds kinda like 'twenty questions', except with, you know, less than twenty questions.

"Hey, these are totes the rules of twenty questions! I don't think that exists in this world though, so you just invented it!" Exclaimed Rion, and it looked like the other Reincarnators had noticed as well.

"Oh, is that a game from your old worlds? I think 'invent' is a bit of a stretch, it's just two or three rules, that's all," She responded with an awkward smile, before turning to Key, "Ready? First ask questions about number eleven."

"Okay...um, is it a guy?"

"Yes."

"Hm...does he have visible Anima mutations?"

"Yes."

"What should I ask next...oh, is he a Reincarnator?"

"Yes."

With that, she should have narrowed it down to Rai, Rion and Rex...huh, all Reincarnators whose names started with R, talk about a coincidence.

"Does he have black hair?"

"No."

That rules out Rion. She was almost there, with one question left.

"Does he have blonde hair?"

...she messed up, both the two remaining possibilities were blonde. And it looks like she realized it the moment she asked the question.

"Yes. Alright, ready to guess who it is?"

"Uh...crap, my last question was a waste, I should have asked something else...whatever, I'm guessing...Rai?"

It was a fifty-fifty shot, and...

"You got it, babe!" Exclaimed Rai, pouncing on her with a grin.

"H-hey, get off me, I-I can't see right now, so don't do anything so suddenly!" She snapped in response.

After he eventually settled down, Persia moved on to number thirteen, Selesa...

"Okay, now ask questions about thirteen," Persia instructed Key.

"Okay. Is it a guy?"

Starting the same as before, huh? But this time, the answer to that question was going to narrow it down to four possibilities...

"No."

"Visible Anima mutations?"

"Yes."

That further narrows it down to two, since it couldn't be Persia as she was the king for this round.

"Reincarnator?"

"Can't answer that. Last two questions."

In a way, that was kind of an answer...

"Hm...taller than me?"

Okay, she's definitely now thinking too hard about which questions are okay to ask...because both the two remaining possibilities, Gela and Selesa, were taller than her.

"Yes."

Key looked confident though...was she under the impression than one of them was shorter than she was?

"Long hair?"

"Can't answer that."

"Okay...is it Selesa?"

"Yup, you got it!" Said Selesa with a grin.

"Hey, Red, I'm taller than you too!" Gela spoke up with a frown, having realized the same thing that I did.

Huh, didn't think she'd care so much about her height.

"What? No, you're not," Replied Key with a look of disbelief, standing up and walking towards Gela, who also stood up.

"Yes, I am!"

"No, you're n-...," She began to retort, before trailing off as they neared each other and she noticed that Gela was about an inch taller than her.

"What's the matter, got nothing to say?" Inquired Gela smugly.

"Why you little-...!"

"Oh? If I'm 'little', then what does that make you, huh?"

It took them a while to stop arguing, but at least the game was finally over. And great timing too, I-.

"Let's play again!" Suggested Rai enthusiastically...which was met with mostly affirmative replies.

Seriously? Oh, well, I have a perfectly valid excuse to leave...

"Sorry, guys, I'm out...I've got a training session with my apprentice in a little over half an hour, so I need to get back," I remarked, standing up.

"Aw, seriously, do you have to? Well, it's your loss, dude!" Responded Rai, waving as I headed for the wall of the dome, Az creating an opening.

No, it really isn't...sure, that was fun in patches, but for the most part, I'd just been impatiently waiting for it to end. But I guess something like this is okay once in a while.

"Yeah, yeah...see you guys around," I said to everyone, before heading out of the dome.

Suddenly, as I walked out of the dome, the air around me quivered and made a strange but familiar noise...static? And then, it was gone. What the...? Did I just imagine that? I glanced back, but none of the others seemed to have noticed anything...yeah, had to be my imagination, I'm just high...right?

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